Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three guys, a father, son, and grandfather go out to play a round of golf. As they are on the way out to the first tee they are joking, bullshitting, and cussing, very much the men’s day out. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says that her partner didn’t show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is a really beautiful…
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A true story from Associated Press, by Kurt Westervelt. At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, the president, Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story: On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit…
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This is a story of an Italian guy when he visits Toronto. You have to speak in an Italian accent to make this jokes more effective! One daya I go to Toronto and stay in bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast, I tella the waitress I wanna two pissa toast. She bringa me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet, I say you no understand, I wanna two piss…
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A lady who had already had several drinks, walks into a bar, slumps on the bar and asks the bartender for a “martoonie wid a pickle in it”. The bartender somewhat amused by her request, fixes her a martini and places an olive in it. As soon as the bartender places the drink in front of the lady, she picks up the glass, downs the drink, slams the glass on the bar and says “Bartender, gimme anoder martoonie wid a…
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The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a “Lord Nelson.” The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similariy of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated risk, of course, for the two men…
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A group of novitiates had been in monastery surroundings for a year and a half were allowed a trip to visit an associate brotherhood in the city of Pittsburg. They went to the train station, but upon arrival were nervous by the prospect of approaching the very busty ticket clerk wearing a lowcut blouse. After exchanging uneasy glances, the bravest of the bunch stepped forward and said: “I’d like five tits to Pittsburg.” Realizing what he had said, he blushed…
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An elderly couple were having trouble remembering things. The man advised the woman that he thought they should see a doctor. Both agreed and went to the doctor. The doctor stated that was no big problem and that it is easily cured. “Get yourself a tablet and when you think of something write it on the tablet.” The couple returned home. Later that evening the man asked the woman if she would kindly get him a glass of ice water.…
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Farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all his cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues. It had been a cold night but he’d never thought anything like this would happen. The realisation of the situation then dawned on him. With his entire livestock gone how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage? He sat with…
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A Preacher was concluding his Sunday sermon at the Church of the Ozarks when he said “Before we adjourn to Miss Ida’s fried chicken lunch, I’d like you to feel free to ask me any questions you have.” Miss Daisy, the most beautiful young lady in the congregation raised her hand. “Preacher,” she said, “Is sexual intercourse permitted on Sunday?” “Well I don’t know right off,” replied the Preacher, “but I’ll find the answer right here in the Good Book.”…
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Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, Madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”
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