Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man arrives at the Pearly Gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter reviews the Big Book to see if the man?s name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, ?I?m sorry, I don?t see your name written in the Big Book.? ?How current is your copy?? asks the man. ?I get a download every ten minutes,? St. Peter replies, ?Why do you ask?? ?I?m embarrassed to admit it, but…
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Lil’ Johnny’s parents were fighting. There were screaming, crying, and cussing. Johnny’s mom called his dad a bastard. Johnny’s dad called his mom a bitch. Finally, they broke it up and apologized, although both of them were still a little steamed. His dad went upstairs to the bathroom. His mom stayed in the kitchen to cook the turkey. Lil’ Johnny went upstairs to the bathroom. His father was in there shaving. He asked his dad: “Dad, what does bitch mean?”…
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A man died and went to heaven. At the gate St. Peter was there and he said, “What have you done to enter these gates?” The man replied, “It was very cold outside just the other day and I gave a bum on the street $.15 for a cup of coffee.” “Is that all?” St. Peter asked. “No,” the man said, “Yesterday I gave a lady that had gotten mugged on the street $.10 for the payphone so she could…
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Two ladies have played bridge together for years, nay decades. Naturally they have gotten to know each other pretty well. One day, during a game, one lady suddenly looks up at the other and says, “Now, dear, I know that we’ve known each other for many years, but please don’t be angry or upset by this–could you please tell me your name? I’m trying to remember, but I just can’t bring it to mind.” The other lady glares at her…
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The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. “What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff. “It’s my direct line to the Lord!” The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists that the Rabbi try it out, and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord. The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him.…
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Frank phones his wife Angie at ten to five and tells her he’s bringing his boss home for dinner. Angie is furious that she’s had no time to prepare but when Frank and his boss arrive, she has miraculously made a marvelous veal marsala, with pasta, chianti and a spinach salad. She’s even managed to shower, change into a dress, and get their little six-year-old daughter, Stephanie, looking clean and pretty. As they are seated at the dining room table,…
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This is a true story as told to me by my boss. A woman had just pulled into a mall parking lot and was trying to find a parking spot. She saw another car drive over a cat. Getting out of her car, and feeling sorry for the dead cat, she decided she would get a shopping bag from the nearest store in the mall, to put the dead cat in. Doing so, she then went to find a pay…
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A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door.…
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Billionaire H. Ross Perot once commented on the “intelligence level” of Vice President Dan Quayle: “If you removed his brain from his head and tried to balance it on the edge of a razor blade, it would be equivalent to rolling a BB down the middle of an eight-lane divided highway.”
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In a little Italian village, a man and his wife of 50 years are rocking back and forth on their porch. Suddenly, the wife stops, grabs her cane and whacks her husband across his shins as hard as she can. He cries out in pain, his eyes water, tears run down his face and he gasped, “Why did you do that?” The old lady replies, “That’s for 50 years of BAD sex!” He nods his head but says nothing and…
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