Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The death of Princess Di is one of those circumstances in life that you will always remember where you were. For me I was at a party. There was a lot of drinking going on and I was beyond hammered. One lady at the party came screaming and crying, “Lady Di has been killed! The papparazzi have killed Lady Di.” My response was “Papparazzi, that fat, opera singing bastard.”
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Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.” The second Catholic woman chirps, “My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him ‘Your Grace’.” The third Catholic woman croned, “My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he’s called ‘Your Eminence’.” Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the…
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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old man walked by, and one of the old ladies said, “We bet we can tell how old you are.” The old man said there ain’t no way you can guess it. One of the old ladies said: “Sure we can. Drop your pants!” He did. The three ladies looked at him for a few moments and then the other lady said, “Take off your…
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A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, and a real mean and tough-looking lady opens the door. Before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet, exclaiming, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn’t do wonders cleaning up that bovine manure, I’ll eat them!.” She turns to him with a smirk on her face and says, “You want ketchup on that?” The…
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SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered. CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report! NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music. CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep! NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.” CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured? NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction. CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on. NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness… darkness… Wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.…
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An Amish family decides to send their son to the army. When the boy comes back, he has a little oval green thing in his hand. He goes to his mother to ask her what it is. “Mom, what is this thing?” The mother replies, “I’m not sure. Go ask your father.” So the boy asks his father what it is. “What is this dad?” His father replies, “I think it’s one of those things that you pull the pin…
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The other day I went into the local religious book store where I saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, just lost in thoughts of the Lord and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots…
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A feisty, 70-year-old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection, the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor. The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call. “Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor.” the lady responded, and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.
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ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…
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Three elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly, a flasher runs up, stands in front of them and opens his coat, exposing his naked body. The first elderly lady had a stroke. The second elderly lady also had a stroke. But the third elderly lady couldn’t quite reach it.
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