Jo jo Jokes - page 90

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and “whip Clarence’s butt.” He left…

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A woman had just gotten out of the shower where husband is now. She hears a knock at the door and without thinking of the towel around her being the only thing covering her she answers it. At the door stands her husband’s friend John. “Yes, can I help you?” she asks. “Well”, replies John, “I’ll give you $150 to drop that towel of yours!” Overwhelmed by the offer she blushes, but decides she could use the money so agrees…

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The cleaning crew was cleaning the lobby of an impressive hotel. They cleaned around a guest who had obviously imbibed a bit much, to the point where he was sprawled across several chairs, his clothes were in disarray, and he was moaning gently. They went on and cleaned the rest of the hotel, and as they were ending their shift 8 hours later, one of the crew (his name was Joe) noticed the drunk hadn’t moved. Joe thought about it…

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California winery Franzia has a product out called “Franzia’s Wine-In-A-Box.” It’s a great product for the homeless, because they can get drunk, and then have a place to sleep it off. Most homeless people eat dinner by scrounging through dumpsters. Like most Americans, they’re on a junk-food diet. You’d think that homeless people could get jobs at the supermarket pushing carts around, but they have no experience pushing them around empty…..you give a homeless guy a row of shopping carts…

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Desperate for work, a man went to the owner of a local circus and asked if there were any openings. The owner told him that he needed a high wire act, but the job required walking without a net over the lion’s cage while wearing a monkey suit. The man, needing the job, put on the suit and climbed to the high wire amid the stunned gasps of the crowd. Stepping gingerly on the thin rope, he began to shuffle…

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During his first campaign against Dwight Einsenhower for the Presidency, Adlai E. Stevenson was approached by an enthusiastic woman supporter who said to him, “Governor, every thinking person will be voting for you.” Stevenson replied, “Madam, that is not enough. I need a majority.”

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