Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. “Henry,” she said, “I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn’t you?” “Er, yes, I did,” said the husband. “But I,…
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Frank has been feeling poorly lately…depressed, stressed, nervous, argumentative. His wife Estelle, who is by now pretty stressed out herself, finally persuades him to make an appointment with their family doctor, to which she accompanies him. After the physical, while Frank is getting dressed again in the examination room, the doctor takes Estelle into his office. “Mrs. Johnson,” says the doctor, “I’m afraid Frank’s stress has affected his heart and blood pressure. I think we have to be prepared to…
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My wife and I were about to have lunch when my friend Brainiac came into the house with his hands between his legs. “Why Brainiac, what is the matter?” I asked, to which he responded, “I’ve been hit by a bloody cricket ball!!” My wife, ever the nurse, said, “Why Brainiac, take it out and let me have a look.” So she took out Brainiac’s john-thomas, put it in a bowl of warm water, added rose petals and massaged it…
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Matt and Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s… Of University Life: Do – Ask questions when in doubt. Don’t – Call your professor “P. Daddy Spanks”. Do – Bring books to class. Don’t – Bring your pet Tree Frog “Mittens” to class. Do – Buy second hand books. Don’t – Buy home made books out of the back of Slimmy Jakes truck. Do – Form a study group. Don’t – Let the crazy old guy that lives in the dumpster out…
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10. “I hold this truth to be self-evident — you’re a babe.” 9. “I’ve just gone through a terrible break-up with Betsy Ross and I don’t think I should be alone tonight.” 8. “Some people call me the ‘Fondling Father’.” 7. “You know what they say about men with big signatures.” 6. “My teeth aren’t the only thing made of wood.” 5. “If somebody ever invents the telephone, can I give you a call?” 4. “All men are not created…
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A fellow was joined at the bar by a beautiful woman who soon approached the man with an offer. “I’ll make your dreams come true,” she whispered, “for a hundred and fifty dollars.” “That’s a lot of money,” the guy pointed out, admiring her voluptuous body. “I’m worth it,” she assured him breathily. “For a hundred and fifty dollars, I’ll act out any fantasy. In fact, I can make any three words come true. Just dream them up, baby.” Any…
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One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said…
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Top Ten Times in history when using the “f” word was appropriate: 10) “What the f**k was that?” – Mayor of Hiroshima 9) “Where did all these f**king Indians come from?” – Custer 8) “Any f**king idiot could understand that.” – Einstein 7) “It does SO f**king look like her!” – Picasso 6) “How the f**k did you work that out?” – Pythagoras 5) “You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?” – Michaelangelo 4) “I don’t suppose it’s gonna f**king…
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Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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A young man was sitting in a coffee bar enjoying a Don Pedro. He noticed the piano player sitting down to play a few numbers. As the piano player sat down, he couldn’t help noticing the piano players testicles hanging over the edge of the seat. The young man ignored this and continued enjoying his drink. As the night progressed, the young man got more and more irratated with this situation, he eventually got up and addressed the piano player.…
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