Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jack Benny was invited to visit the White House. A guard stopped him and asked what he had in the violin case he was carrying. “A machine gun,” said Benny solemnly. With the same solemnity, the guard said, “Oh, okay, enter. I was afraid for a moment that it was your violin.”
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YOUR MOM IS SO OLD HER SOCIAL SECRUITY NUMBER IS 0000-0000-0001
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The physics instructor was demonstrating the wonders of static electricity to his class at MIT. While holding a plastic rod in one hand and a wool cloth in the other, he told the class, “You can see that I get a large charge from rubbing my rod…” That was pretty much the end of learning for that day!
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Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Say things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.” 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. 6. Increasing the…
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One summer, the company Dave worked for transferred him to another city, and Dave was told that he had to take a new physical with the company doctor. All the tests came out fine, but the doctor remarked that Dave had the smallest dick he’d ever seen. “Do you have any difficulties with its being so small?” the doc asked. “Shit, no,” Dave said. “I’ve got a wife, three kids, and a great sex life. But I do sometimes have…
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Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peaks in and catches his folks in the act. Before daddy can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, “Oh boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride your back?” Daddy, relieved that Johnny’s not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees… Johnny hops on daddy and starts…
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“I don’t want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.” ?Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000 “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”?LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 “If I’m the president, we’re going to…
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Here’s the background: Ian works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of UNH. (The University of New Hampshire, for those not from the East Coast of the U.S.) Vinnie is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Ian, this actually happened. Ian is telling the story. Her: Yes, I’d like a milk with some coffee in it. Me: So, that’s just a splash of coffee in a milk? Her: No, a…
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1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. 3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. 4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. 5. You should never say…
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English in Non-English Speaking Countries! Examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world: In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In…
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