Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable. “Jane, Do you know any polysyllabic words?” After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. “Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon……day. Does anyone know another word?” Little Johnny from the back of the room yells, “I do! I do!” Knowing Johnny’s more mature sense…
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A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and asks for their order. The man says, “I’ll have a beer.” He turns to the ostrich and asks “What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too,” says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says, “That will be $3.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man…
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A Programmer and an Engineer A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun.…
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There was this guy named Joe. Ever since he was born, he has always been 2nd at everything. His baby stroller was always slower than the other kids’, his tricycle was old and rusted and had wobbly wheels, his first bike was a piece of junk, his first car wouldn’t go over 35 m.p.h. So Joe resigned himself to a life of slowness, never able to win a race in his life. Until one day, when his rich uncle died…
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Bill Clinton was in Kansas City for his Social Security gathering yesterday and afterward was at the Royals home opening game to throw out the first pitch. It seems that Major League Baseball has outlawed spitballs but slimeballs are still allowed.
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Once upon a time three nuns died and went to heaven. It was very bright and beautiful. They met St. Peter at the front gate. He said, “The only way you can get into heaven is if you answer three questions. One question for each of you.” The three nuns agreed. St. Peter began to the first nun, “What was the Immaculate conception?” “Why, it’s Mary being told that Jesus was going to be born, St. Peter,” said the first…
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You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is. If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these…
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A man was in a bar and began to tell a joke. His first words were “There was this dumb Pollack. . .” when he was interrupted by the bartender, who was enormous. “Wait a minute,” said the barkeep, “I’M Polish. See that huge guy by the door? HE’S Polish. And see that other guy down there? HE’S Polish. Now, are you sure you want to tell this joke?” “Heck, no,” the man exclaimed. “I’d have to explain it three…
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A man is on the first hole of a snooty golf course getting ready to hit his ball. He stands near the red tee, sets up, and gets ready to hit when he hears a voice over the loudspeaker say, “Will the gentleman please step back to the Men’s Tee.” He ignores the voice, and gets ready to hit again. Just as he starts to swing, he hears the voice again: “Will the gentleman please step back to the Men’s…
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Q: What did the notorious cannibal Hannibal Lecter do when he entered an “eat-all-you-can” restaurant? A: He had two waiters, one busboy and half a maitre’d. Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: He wiped his butt. Q: What did the cannibal say when he first saw a skating rink? A: “What do you know … People on the rocks!” Q: Why do cannibals avoid eating stand-up comedians? A: Because they taste funny. Q: Why…
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