A LONG WAY
Our country has come a long way. First, we had George Washington, who couldn’t tell a lie. Then we had Bill Clinton, who couldn’t tell the truth . . . And then we had Al Gore, who can’t tell the difference!
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Irs Jokes - page 60
Three Doctors
Three surgeons were at lunch one day having a conversation about what they liked the most about operating. The first surgeon said: “I like operating on accountants because their insides are numbered.” The second surgeon said: “I enjoy operating on librarians because their insides are in alphabetical order.” The third doctor said: “I really love to operate lawyers becasue they are spineless, heartless, gutless, and best of all, their heads and asses are interchangeable.”
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Stork Difference
On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down and stared at the stork awhile longer. Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, “Gee, Dad, he doesn’t even recognize me!”
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Three blondes on a building
There were three blondes on a building and each one of them was going to commit suicide because they couldn’t take anymore blonde jokes. The first blonde jumps and it takes 3 months to scrape her off of the side walk. The second blonde jumps and it takes 6 months to scrape all of her off the road. Finally the 3rd blonde jumps and lands on a seatless bycicle, and it takes 5 years to get the smile off of…
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Selling Bibles
One day, Bob, who is a salesman, walked into his boss’s office. Bob said he had this friend who was a really good salesman, but he just got laid off. Bob asked if there was any chance that his boss could give him a job. His boss smiled, but said that he doesn’t like to hire people unless he meets them first. Bob then replied, “Well can’t you just give him a chance. You know, one of those trial periods.”…
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Preacher’s New Dentures
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled, and new dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached 15 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour and 25 minutes! When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way…. The first Sunday, my gums were so sore, it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday,…
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Quiet
A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said “Stay here and be very quiet. I’ll be across the field.” A little while later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son asking, “What’s wrong? I told you to be quiet.” The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks…
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Pick-Up Mishap
Two guys are sitting at a table in a bar checking out the ladies. They are talking about how the second guy can never seem to pick up any women, so the first guy decides to show him how. “Watch,” he says. I’ll go pick up some women, you watch and learn. “Ok,” says the second guy. The first guy slides up next to a pretty young blonde woman at the bar. He says, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”…
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Most Important Contribution
Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”
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Lovers
Two Lovers plan to commit Suicide. They were going to jump off of a cliff. The boy jumped first. The Girl closed her eyes before jumping then changed her mind saying Love is Blind. The Boy, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies
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