Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
On one BAD day, 1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale. 2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his…
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T’was the night before Chrismas – Old Santa was pissed He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scap the whole works I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – whad do i hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight Rudoph got drunk and goosed all the…
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IN THE BEGINNING In the beginning there was the computer. And God said %Let there be light! #Enter user id. %God #Enter password. %Omniscient #Password incorrect. Try again. %Omnipotent #Password incorrect. Try again. %Technocrat #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %Let there be light! #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %Create light #Done %Run heaven and earth #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday,…
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yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it. yo mama so fat she fell into the sea and the whales sang, “We are family…” yo mama so stupid she spent 20 min. staring at an orange juice carton cause it said, “Concentrate.” yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor looked at her head and butt and said, “Twins!”
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Japan is having its “once in a millennium” Samurai contest. After several years of pretrials, three of the greatest samurais are meeting in Tokyo. In a large arena, the first samurai stood in the middle of a 20-foot square. He is from Nagasaki. One of the judges opened up a small box and let a little fly out of it. Within an instant “SWOOSH” a gleaming sword pierced through the air and the fly was cut in half. There was…
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A man was on an airplane, watching the movie, and hated it. So he walked out on it. After plunging to the sea, he swam to a deserted island. He lived there for 10 years, with no human contact, no companionship. One day, he was looking out at the lagoon, and saw someone in SCUBA gear swim out of it. The man could see is was a strikingly beautiful woman. She looked at him, licked her pouty lips, and asked,…
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A very ugly and rude women walks into Walmart with her two children. She scurrilously askes the person at the door why the store is so cold. The clerk response, “I’m sorry mam, corporate sets the temperature by computer. Are these your twins?” “No, the boy is nine and the girl is seven. Why do they look alike?” “No! I just can’t believe you got fucked more than once!”
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In the Garden of Eden, As everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve, Without any clothes. In this garden, Were two little leaves, One covered Adam’s, One covered Eve’s. As the story goes on, Nevertheless to say, The wind came along, And blew the leaves away. At the sight, Adam did stare, There was Eve’s treasure, All covered with hair. And wonder came, Under Eve’s eyes, As Adam’s thing, Started to rise. They found a spot, That suited them best, A…
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Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn?t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one. ?I sure do,? he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch BIC lighter. ?Wow!? said his friend, ?where did you get that monster?? ?I got it from my genie.? ?You have a genie?? he asked ?Yes, he?s right here in my golf bag.? He opens his golf bag and…
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Once a long time ago, there was a season when neither the Packers nor the Vikings made the post-season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great on-going rivalry. So they decided on a week-long fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. On a cold, northern Wisconsin lake,…
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