Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it’s raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that! She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid. Out of despair, she asks, “Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?” The kid says, “How should I know? I’m only 6.”
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Things Dogs Must Try To Remember…. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it. I will…
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A passenger on a train visited the dining car and ordered a bowl of soup. When delivered, it had a fly in it. The outraged passenger wrote to the president of the railroad, expressing his dismay and vowing never again to ride that railroad. In a few days, he received a letter from the president, apologizing profusely, vowing that this was an unprecedented occurrence and explaining the steps that had been taken to insure it never happened again. The passenger…
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A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked. “Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. But I HAVE got a wife and eleven children.” “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get to setting one.”
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I just heard a story on the radio about a 90-year-old lady who decided that buying Christmas presents for all her family and friends had become a bit much. So she wrote out checks for all of them to put in her Christmas cards. She then wrote out her Christmas cards and put, “Buy your own present” after her name and sent them off. After the Christmas festivities were all over, she found the checks in her desk! Everyone had…
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Types of Farting People The Vain Person One who loves the smell of his own farts. The Amiable Person One who loves the smell of other people’s farts. The Proud Person One who thinks his farts are exceptionable fine. The Shy Person One who releases silent farts then blushes. The Imprudent Person One who boldly farts out loud, and then laughs. The Unfortunate Person One who tries hard to fart, but shits instead. The Scientific Person One who farts frequently,…
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This couple had been married for about five years, and one day, as they are out working in the yard, the man tells his wife, “Man! Your butt is getting fat!” She gets ticked off and moves to another part of the yard. The husband follows her and says, “You know, looking at that big gas grill over there, I’ll bet your butt is as big as that grill. It’s HUGE!” The wife gets really mad, tells him HE can…
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Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and John Kennedy? A: One got his brains blown off and the other got shot.
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A very busy corporate lawyer was called out of an important meeting to the bedside of an extremely wealthy widow who was one of the firm’s most prestigious clients. She was also well-known for her devoted Christian faith. The lawyer was ushered into the bedroom of the widow and asked, “What can I do for you, Mrs. Warbucks?” “Just come and stand beside my bed,” she said while lying in bed. The lawyer did as he was told. A few…
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George was sitting at his desk and stressing over the upcoming deadlines when his boss came up to him. Their conversation went as follows: Boss: “George, when is the last time you took a vacation?” George: “Sir, I don’t have time for a vacation. There is way too much work to be done.” Boss: “George, I believe you would be more productive if you took some time to get away from your work and relax for a little bit.” George:…
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