Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Jew are eating dinner at a very expensive restaurant. When the check arrives, the Scotsman says, “I’ll take that.” The next day’s headlines read, “FAMOUS JEWISH VENTRILOQUIST BEATEN TO DEATH AT FANCY RESTAURANT.”
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It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not to far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute…
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One guy was driving to Sacramento, CA from New York at 120 mph, and another guy going to New York from Sacramento, CA at 130 mph. If they take the same route, where will they meet? In jail, because the speed limit is 70mph.
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A fireman came from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we’re ready to go on the trucks.” “From now on,” he said, “we’re going to run this house the same way: When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I…
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One day Bill Clinton was out jogging and he accidently tripped and fell off a bridge into the cold water below… Three 10 year old boys were playing along the river and saw him fall in so they all jumped in and saved him and dragged him to shore. He was so thankful that he told each of them, “Boys, you just saved the President of the United States and each of you deserve a reward.” The first boy says,…
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A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, I am going to say a single word, and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross.” Immediately, the congregation started singing in unison, “The Old Rugged Cross.” The pastor hollered out, “Grace.” The congregation began to sing, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.” The…
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Why would you ever want to remarry an ex-spouse? It’s like finding some sour milk in your fridge, putting it in the trash for a couple of days, and then wondering, “Gee, I wonder if it’ll taste any better now.”
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Some Polish Gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.…
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A very dumb man applies for a job at the supermarket. He gets the job. The first day his training started. His boss said “I’ll pretend to be the customer and you make a sale to me.” “Okay, let’s start. Excuse me sir, but how much are these oranges?” “Umm…I dunno,” replied the trainee lamely. “No, no, no! You’re supposed to say, ‘A dollar seventy-five’!” scolded the boss. “Let’s try again.” “Excuse me sir, but how much are these oranges?”…
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Your girlfriend is the centerfold in playboy, your son is on the wheaties box, and your wife is on the milk carton.
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