what do u say……….
What do you say to a man with two black eyes? Nothing hes already been told twice
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ing Jokes - page 462
Meals on Wheels
One day, an elderly cat dies. When he goes up to Heaven and meets God, God says to him “Dear sweet sweet cat, you have been such a faithful to your owner, and he has been so curel to you. Is there anything that I can give to you?” And the cat replies, “All my life, I had to sleep on some old cold rags. Could you give me a nice warm blanket?” God gives him a blanket and the…
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Lewinsky’s new book
Possible Titles for Lewinsky’s New Book: I Suck At My Job What Really Goes Down In The White House : How I Blew It In Washington You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule Going Back for Gore Secret Services to the President Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton Deep Inside The Oval Office The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions She’s Chief…
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THE FIVE PIGS
There were these five pigs. The first two went into a bar. The bartender asked, “What will you have?” They said five beers. They drank them, and asked, “Where is your bathroom?” The bartender said down the hall. Then the next two pigs came in the bar. “What will you have?” said the bartender. “What did our two brothers have?” The bartender said five beers. “We’ll have ten beers.” They drank them. They asked, “Where is your bathroom?” “Down the…
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Dear Abby
Dear Abby, I’ve been going out with this girl for a couple of weeks now, I really like her and want to take the relationship to the next level. I have one problem though. On our first date she told me she was sick, but I can’t remember if she said she had TB or VD. What should I do? – Lovelorn, Portland, OR Dear Lovelorn: If she coughs, fuck her.
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tracks
Once upon a time, three blondes went hunting in the forest. After a while they see some tracks. The first blonde says “hey look at these deer tracks!”. The second blonde looks at the tracks and says “no stupid those are wolf tracks!”. The third one looks at the tracks and studies them a little bit and says “you guys are both stupid, those are obviously bear tracks!”. Thats when they were hit by the train.
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Bad Breath/Stinky Feet
Joey was a great guy with wonderful qualities except for unbelievably stinky feet. Sharon was a fabulous gal with everything going for her except her terrible breath. Because of these qualities neither dared to date anyone. When they met, however, they knew they were right for each other. As the relationship grew neither could reveal their embarrasing features to each other. When Joey wanted to kiss her, Sharon would decline. Sharon would want to take long walks on the beach…
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so damn dumb2
yo momma so damn dumb she got locked in a bathroom and peed on herself yo momma so damn dumb she ain’t got no eyes talking about ‘I see what you mean’ yo momma so damn dumb she ain’t got no fingers talking bout she pressing charges yo momma so damn dumb she ain’t got no fingers and be trying to point people in the right direction
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Short-Term Memory Loss
An elderly widow and widower had been dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry him. She immediately said, “Yes.” The next morning when he awoke, he remembered asking her to marry him, but he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so. Wait! No, she looked kinda funny . . . .” After about an hour of trying to remember, to no avail, he got on the telephone and…
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The Funny Dog
A young tough robbed an elderly gentleman walking in his neighborhood. A week later he sees the gentleman walking again but this time he has a small dog that looks like a dachshund. The young tough decides to rob him again but decides to get a ferocious dog to take along. A few days later he sees the man walking with his dog and takes his dog to rob him. As he approaches, the elderly gentleman’s dog grabs the ferocious…
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