Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, “My son’s choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!” A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his hands around the boy’s nuts, and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened. “Thank…
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President Clinton was being entertained by an African leader. They’d spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.” President Clinton frowned. “Russian roulette’s not a very friendly game.” The African leader smiled. “That’s why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our…
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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”
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One day Little Johnny ran into the bathroom while his mother was just getting out of the shower. “Mommy, where’s your little willy?” “Well, Johnny, only boys have willies. Girls have hedgehogs.” The next day, Little Johnny ran into the bathroom again, but this time, his grandmother was just getting out of the shower. Granny tried to cover herself quickly, but Little Johnny said, “It’s okay, Mommy already told me about willies and hedgehogs… but how did yours die?” “Why…
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There was this big tribal chief who was suffering from constipation, and therefore sent his messenger to the urban doctor for getting prescription. The messenger went to the doc and said, “Doc, doc…. Big chief, no shit! Big chief, no shit!” The doctor handed him one month’s prescription. But the chief consumed all the pills in a day. When the messenger showed up at the doctor’s office again, the doctor asked, “What’s the problem now?” The messenger said, “Big shit,…
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A construction worker fell to his death from a 12 story building. Two of his co workers were debating over who would tell the guy’s wife.John, a third co worker, volunteered his services, because he said he was really good at giving bad news. The two other workers saw John returning with a 6 pack from their dead friends house. the first worker asked John if he told the wife of the dead worker, he replied “yes, of course”, and…
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A five-year-old boy walks into his parents’ bedroom just as his full-chested mom is about to put on her bra. “What are those, Mommy?” he asks, pointing to her breasts. “Oh, those are balloons, Jimmy. When women die, they inflate and float you up to Heaven.” The following week, Jimmy runs into the kitchen where his mother is preparing lunch. “Mommy, come quick, Aunt Betty is dying!” cries the little boy. “What do you mean she’s dying??” asks Mommy. “She’s…
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A blonde dyed her hair jet black so that people would think she was smarter. It seemed to work. People treated her with more respect, and she even felt smarter. To celebrate, she took a drive in the country. She spotted a field full of sheep, and got out to take a look. She found the farmer and said, ” These things are so cute, and soft. What are they?” “Uh, they’re sheep, miss,” he replied. “If I can tell…
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Commentary by Ernest Murray “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann. “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” – A senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh. “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” – Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach. “That’s so when I forget how to spell…
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You’re so stupid you stayed up all night studying for a blood test.
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