Ing Jokes - page 41

Nothing Quite Like Teenage Love!

The inexperienced young man was smitten with the girl who was sitting beside him in his parked car. Looking at her in the light of the full moon, he gently placed his hand on her knee and said, “Angie….I think I love you.” With a knowing smile, she put her hand on his and said, “Higher, Ralph.” Clearing his throat, he said, “Angie….I think I love you!” in a cracked falsetto.

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Finally Getting Married

There were two Jewish woman (Ruth and Golda) walking along the street. Ruth says to Golda, “My son, Irving, is finally getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.” Golda says to Ruth, “Do you have any idea what this herpes is and can he catch it?” Ruth answers, “No, but I am so thrilled to hear about Irving’s engagement. It’s past time he’s settled. As…

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Working

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. 3. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry,…

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Eating Healthy Pays.. Or Does It?

A few days ago, I got up, brushed my teeth and got dressed. As I zipped and buttoned up my jeans, I found that they were actually loose. I was so thrilled that my new healthy eating habits were finally starting to pay off! All morning I strutted around feeling so proud, as I kept pulling up my jeans. I thought I might have to start buying a smaller size. Well, my euphoria came to a screeching halt when I…

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Dr. Suessing Clinton & Starr (Revisited)

Mr Starr: I am Starr. Starr I are. I’m a brilliant barri-star. I’m here to ask, as you’ll soon see, Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky? Did you grope her in your house? Did you grope beneath her blouse? Did she give you gifts and ties? And were you spied by prying eyes? Mr Clinton: I did not do that here or there! I did not do that anywhere! I did not do that in a chair! I went not near…

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Read JokeDr. Suessing Clinton & Starr (Revisited)

Keep The Motor Running

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. “This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?” He answered, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, “You really are amazing. How do you do it?” He again said, “You’ve got…

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Finding the Wife

A couple went shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways when the husband realized his wife was gone for several hours and didn’t meet him at their appointed meeting place. Tired of looking for her, he decided to sit by a beautiful blonde on the mall bench. He smiled and offered to light her cigarette and said, “Talk to me…Quick!!!” She said, “Why?” “Because everytime I am talking to a beautiful woman, my wife appears!”

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a man who did the stupidest thing

A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mensroom door, it was “OCCUPIED”. The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked “WW, WA, PP and ATR”. Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding…

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Working Or Not ?

Santasingh and BantaSingh wanted to go camping. They attached the trailer to the car. SantaSingh wanted to make sure that the car is in good condition before they start. So, he asked BantaSingh to go in front of the car to check the head lights. Santa Singh switched the head lights on. BantaSingh said, “Yeah! it is working!”. Then Santa switched on the high beam. Banta told “Yeah! it is working!”. Santa asked Banta to go to the rear side…

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Talking Clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. “What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked. “That is my talking clock,” the man replied. “How does it work?” the friend asked. “Watch,” the man said. Then he proceeded to give the gong an ear-shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It’s…

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Read JokeTalking Clock