Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
After the fall in the Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”
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Bill Clinton, soon to be a “private” citizen again, wanting to get the feel of regular life again decided to take a comercial airline flight. After the pilot made his obligatory welcome and flight information announcement, he put the microphone down but didn’t realize he had left it locked in the “send” mode. He said to his co-pilot, “Boy, this has been one hell of a week. You know, I could really use a blow job and a cup of…
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Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. His co-worker, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened. Andy replied, “Oh, nothing. Just an old hockey injury that acts up once in awhile.” Josh said, “Gee, I never knew you played hockey.” Andy replied, “No, I don’t. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on the Stanley Cup Play-offs. I put my foot through the television….”
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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft?s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter?s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a hand-written sign, and held it in the helicopter?s window. The pilot?s sign said ?WHERE AM I?? in large letters. People in the tall building quickly…
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There once was a poor lad named Timmy who had the misfortune of being born with only a head — no arms, no legs, nothing but a head. Now Timmy was a basically happy person and he was loved and cared for by his family. As long as he stayed within the shelter of his family he was unworried by his condition, but as soon as he was thrust out into the world he knew that something was seriously wrong.…
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There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant, preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory where the father thought, “Surely, THIS should impress him!” He showed his son the machine and said, “Son, this is the heart of the factory. Using this machine, we can put in a pig, and out comes sausages.”…
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The teacher in a fifth grade class said, “Class, I want you to imagine that you are the President of the United States and write an essay about what you will do for your country.” All of the students start writing, but the teacher sees little Johnny not writing at all. The teacher asks him, “Johnny, why aren’t you writing your essay?” Little Johnny replies, “I am waiting for my secretary.”
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**How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it! **Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you! **Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink! **How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?…
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Michael said to his friend Tom : Can you say this sentence without using any “R”s? : “Richard and Robert raped the rabbit.” After considerable thought, Tom finally said….”Dick and Bob fucked the bunny”.
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Two elderly sisters donated $25 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the Superbowl. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so. “I think so, too,” said Mabel. “Let’s go!” They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half. They enjoyed…
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