Yo mama so poor
Yo mama so poor I went up to her doorstep, rang the door bell, and she opened up the window and said, “DING DONG!”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ing Jokes - page 350
Two Blondes Find a Compact
Two blondes were walking down the sidewalk, when one of them spots a compact lying by the curb. She opens the compact and looks at the mirror and exclaims to her friend “Hey, this girl looks familiar!” Her friend reaches over, looks in the mirror and says, “You dumb shit! It’s me!”
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Easter!
The Easter bunny came to my house today. Well he didn’t come inside, but rather, he hopped around my yard for a while. Really he didn’t hop, it was more like he walked around the yard. I was quite surprised by his appearance. In fact he didn’t look much like I always thought he would. He was furry and brown; he also walked on four legs and had large teeth. I was really excited when he began hiding chocolate eggs…
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Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine? 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 4. Do I look like a fucking people person? 5. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 6. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat. (Wait a minute, I hate cats. Change that to my dog.) 7. Did the aliens…
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Definitions for the nineties
Keep This near your desk at work so you can translate what is REALLY being said to you. 1) Politically Correct- saying something, without actually saying it so that anyone that hears you isn’t sure what was said nor can they repeat to anyone else to incriminate you. 2) Abrasive- the opposite of being p.c. (politically correct). 3) Heads up- I heard the rumor before you. 4) Challenged – Fucked. (example, “I want to Challenge you….) 5) Mentally Challenged- mentally…
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Courage
An American General, a Russian General and a British General are standing on the deck of a ship watching war exercises. The topic of discussion turns to human courage, and the Russian General boasts, “Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!”. Upon which the American (naturally) challenges him: “Oh yeah?”. The Russian says, “Sure! Here, Yuri! Jump off the deck and swim around the ship!” Yuri marches off into the freezing Atlantic without a word and does as he…
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Dr. Sorry
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is correct,” Say the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.…
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Veteran’s Day
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…
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Eyelids
In the newspaper the other day there was a story of a newborn that was born without any eyelids. The doctor told the young couplethat there was nothing to worry about, since it was early enough, that when their son was circumsized, the foreskin could be grafted on as eyelids. I don’t know about you, but I feel sorry for that young kid. He’s gonna grow up COCKEYED!
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Find the Spot
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes, the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?” After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”
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