Ing Jokes - page 342

Bus driver

A little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the bus driver. As they’re driving along, the boy sings, “If my daddy was a bull and my mommy was a cow, then I’d be a little bull.” Annoyed, the bus driver tells the little boy to sit down, but the little boy continues, “If my daddy was a stag and my mommy was a deer, I’d be a little stag.” The bus driver tells the boy to shut up,…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeBus driver

Dog Gone!

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date’s door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” she said. “Why don’t you play with my dog Rollo while you are waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands and sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he’ll jump through.” The dog followed Paul onto…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDog Gone!

Football Players Ain’t So Dumb!

Tired of hearing about how dumb football players were, college coach Grabowski remembered a recent press release that crossed his desk and told the interviewer, “It so happens that according to a recent Harrison Poll, over fifty percent of the young men who play college football are making straight A’s.” “I read that report, too,” the interviewer replied, “and my question is this: When will they learn to write the rest of the alphabet?” (You know what football is: a…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFootball Players Ain’t So Dumb!

5 Questions Most Feared By Men

The 5 questions most feared by men are: 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that everyone is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke5 Questions Most Feared By Men

If your mom was here

A dad and his newly married daughter are on a train. Suddenly, a group of bandits jumps on board demanding, “Give us all your money, bags, jewelry — everything valuable!!” Everyone gives up all their things and they move on to the next car. The father looks over at his daughter and she is putting on her wedding ring. He asks, “Where did you hide that?” She says, “In my mouth.” The dad exclaims, “I wish your mother were here…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIf your mom was here

Saves Lives

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff for a medical degree?” the young man blurted out. “To save lives,” the professor replied before continuing the lecture. In a few minutes, the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” The professor stared at the student for a long time. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSaves Lives

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES– FROM:Human Resources

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: Human Resources It has been brought to Management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of preferred new phrases…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeTO: ALL EMPLOYEES– FROM:Human Resources

Heard at last

The tapes of Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp were released, for the first time revealing Monica’s girlish voice. Upon hearing the tapes, President Bill Clinton was heard to exclaim: “So that’s what she sounds like.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHeard at last

Last Words

Ol’ Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol’ Fred’s condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol’ Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLast Words