Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ben & Jerry’s new presidential flavors: THE FLAVORS Double Nut Joy Impeach-Mint Subpoenas ‘n’ Cream Chubby Cheatin’ Hubby Candy Pants Chilly Hillbilly Pants-offio Pistachio Horny Bubba Crunch Arkansas Peach Subpoena Butter Cup Peppermint Fatty Captain Cream Tubby Bubba Hillary Chiller Fundraising Coffee Oval Office Surprise Arkansas Smoothie Subpoena Colada Hyperactive Nuts Scandalberry
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This is probably what you would hear in a cow poetry reading: Cow reading poem she created: “Distant Hills” The distant hills call to me Their rolling waves seduce my heart. Oh, how i want to graze in their lush valleys, Oh, how i want to run down their green slopes. Alas, i cannot. Damn the electric fence! Damn the electric fence! Thank you.
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Every year two rival schools try to see who can pull off the best prank to the opposing school. So this guy and this go to the rival school and steal their mascot, “Sammy the Skunk” As they’re about to leave with the skunk, a security guard comes. So he tells her to stick the skunk up her dress. She says, “well, what about the smell?” “If it dies, it dies!” he replies.
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If you have to write a ‘letter of recommendation’ for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases: -For the chronically absent: A man like him is hard to find. It seemed her career was just taking off. -For the office drunk: I feel his real talent is wasted here. We generally found him loaded with work to do. Every hour with him was a happy hour. -For an employee with no ambition: He could not care less about…
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This ghetto lady goes on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and she is going for the $1000 dollar question. Regis: Name two of Santa’s reindeer? A) Dancer & Prancer B) Vixon & Nixon C) Comit & Star D) Olive & Rudolph Ghetto Lady: (D) Olive & Rudolph ***** Audience Chuckles ***** ***** Regis Chuckles ***** Regis: Is that your final answer? Ghetto Lady: Yes Regis: You Sure? Ghetto Lady: Yes Regis: I’m sorry but you are wrong! Do you…
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1. You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up. 2. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before… 3. You can see individual air molecules vibrating. 4. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso. 5. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. 6. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. 7.…
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This guy and his dog went to a Lions game and the security guard told the man that he couldnt bring a dog into the stadium. The guy said, “Come on man he is a die hard Lions fan!” But, the security guard insisted, “No, its against rules but theres a bar across the street you can bring the dog to watch the game.” So they went to the bar across the street. They sat down and as they were…
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Lesson Number One: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit noticed the crow, and asked, “Can I sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered, “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral Of The Story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,…
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One day Mrs. Flanagan feels sickly and goes to the doctor for a look at. The doctor looks her over and says, “Well now, Mrs. Flanagan, I’m perplexed on your condition but if you bring a urine specimen to me in the morning, I can tell exactly what’s wrong.” Mrs. Flanagan went home and said to her husband, “The doctor wants me to bring him a urine specimen in the morning. I don’t know what a urine specimen is, what…
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A new restaurant opened over the weekend and the owner’s friend sent over flowers to celebrate the opening. However, when the flowers arrived at the new restaurant, the owner took one look at the card which read, “Rest In Peace.” This so angered the owner that he called up the florist to complain. After the owner had told the florist about the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said, “I’m really really sorry for what happened, sir.…
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