Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
girl: I’d like a triple vanilla ice-cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, and lots of whipped cream. waiter: is that with a cherry on top? girl: heavens no! I’m on a diet. An accountant got out of bed and complained that he had not slept a wink . “why didn’t you count sheep?” his wife asked “I did, that is what got me into trouble,” the accountant replied ” I made a mistake during the first hour, and it took…
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A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, and a real mean and tough-looking lady opens the door. Before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet, exclaiming, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn’t do wonders cleaning up that bovine manure, I’ll eat them!.” She turns to him with a smirk on her face and says, “You want ketchup on that?” The…
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A transcript from the new answering service recently installed at the Mental Health Institute: Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press…
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APPLICATION FOR ARKANSAS DRIVERS LICENSE Last name: __________________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician Spouse’s Name: __________________________ 2nd Spouse’s Name: _______________________ 3rd Spouse’s…
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By: Matt Ravlich 10. last night I got temporary amnesia and I totally forgot! 9. My older sister couldn’t find her same homework from last year. 8. The dog did it for me, but it was in his language. 7. The paper airplane I made out of it accidental flew out the window. 6. I fell asleep on it and when I woke up all my drool smudged all the ink. 5. It is here it’s just in invisible ink!…
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A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious . . . Hollandaise Sauce. I loved it so much I now put…
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SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered. CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report! NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music. CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep! NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.” CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured? NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction. CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on. NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness… darkness… Wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.…
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Pepito Jokes: Once there was a kid named Pepito.His mom sent him to go buy eggs at the store. When he was on the way to the store, he saw superman, and he went running to his house to tell his mom. When he got to his house, he said to his mom. “Mom i saw superman he had big arms, and big feet, and a big chest” Then his mom asked him “what about the eggs?” “ohh no mom…
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One day there was this old married couple and they were driving after having a fight. After awhile they pass a pig farm.The wife says to her husband “Relatives?” He says “Yeah,Inlaws”
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The woman in the bar noticed the man’s zipper was unzipped. She told him his garage door was open. So smarty pants said, zipping up, “Did you notice that long red Cadillac in my garage?” And she replied, “No, but I noticed the little Volkswagen with two flat tires.”
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