Hy Jokes - page 89

Viagra tests

RESEARCHERS BAFFLED The U.S. Navy Medical Corps has concluded an extensive pharmaceutical study in which an equal number of sailors and marines were administered weekly doses of Viagra. Researchers are at a loss to explain why all of the sailors achieved enhanced sexual prowess, while the Marines simply grew taller.

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A Memory To Remember!

So this reporter checks in at some old hotel smack in middle of nowhere. Coming into the lobby, he is confronted with the strange sight of an old Indian, whittling stick, long black hair, reddish skin, sitting on one of the chairs as if he intends never to get up. “That’s Old Chief Forget-Me-Not,” whispers the man behind the desk reverently, “he is allowed to stay here for free because he let me build my hotel on his reservation.” “Why…

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Would You?

Joe: Why don’t you play golf with Bob anymore? Mike: Would you play with someone who curses after each shot, cheats in the bunkers and enters false scores on his card? Joe: No, of course not! Mike: Neither will Bob.

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Mr.Perfect

An associational minister arrived one Sunday morning in a small, rural town. The local minister had invited the visiting minister to help with a local problem. “Everyone here thinks they are just perfect!” said the local minister. “Could you preach a sermon that will bring them back to their senses?” The associational minister was a very gifted speaker, most eloquent with words and very knowledgeable about the Scriptures. He spoke for nearly an hour, convincing everyone that they, too, were…

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male comebacks to female comebacks

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers you a slut. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my cock. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine. Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I…

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Cheating husband

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. Her husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up…you’re next!”

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A Final Appeal

The priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!” The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?” The dying man said, “Until I know where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought to piss anyone off.”

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Hillary’s parrot

Hillary wanted to add some color to the White House. She decided to look at tropical birds for reasons known only to her. While shopping for the bird, she visited a local pet store which was known for its collection of tropical birds. As she was viewing the collection, she noted a vast difference in prices. “Why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?” she asked. “Well, ma’am,” the manager told her, “not everyone would want…

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