Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Man approaches his buddy, who is looking awfully down: “Hey, Jim,” he says. “Why are you so depressed?” “Well,” Jim says, “about two months ago, my aunt passed away and left me $10,000.” “Aw, that’s too bad, Jim,” his friend replied. “Then last month, my father passed away and left me $20,000.” “Jeez, two deaths in two months? That’s terrible!” “And this month… nothing.”
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One day a skunk is walking by a pond, and hears someone crying. He turns around and there’s a duck. He asks”Why are you crying?” The duck replies, “I have no idea what animal I am!” The skunk says, ” I’ll help you figure out what animal you are.” The duck thanks him. So the skunk says, “Well…you look like a duck, you waddle like a duck, and you quack like a duck…sooo you must be a duck!” The duck…
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Here’s the background: Ian works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of UNH. (The University of New Hampshire, for those not from the East Coast of the U.S.) Vinnie is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Ian, this actually happened. Ian is telling the story. Her: Yes, I’d like a milk with some coffee in it. Me: So, that’s just a splash of coffee in a milk? Her: No, a…
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An old man and his hard-of-hearing wife were traveling through the south when they stopped at a gas station to refuel. The attendant asked, “How much, sir?” and the old man told him to fill it up. Immediately the old woman piped up, “What did he say?” and the old man shouted that he’d told him to fill up the tank. The attendant then asked if he needed the oil checked and the old man replied that it was fine.…
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1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. 3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. 4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. 5. You should never say…
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George, spotting a nice-looking gal in a bar, goes up and starts small talk. Since she didn’t back off, he asked her name. “Carmen,” she replied. “That’s a nice name,” he said, warming up the conversation. “Who named you, your mother?” “No, I named myself,” she answered. “Oh, that’s interesting. Why Carmen?” “Because I like cars, and I like men,” she said, looking directly into his eyes. “What’s YOUR name?” “Beerf**k,” said George.
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Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…
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Q: Why doesn’t Hillary Clinton wear panties when she flies? A: So she can get a better grip on her broom!
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Q. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A. To see what was on the other side. Q. Why do blondes like lightning? A. They think someone is taking their picture. Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A. “Look! They spelled MACYS wrong.”
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A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labor is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. “I’m afraid I don’t have a husband,” she replies. “OK, do you have a boyfriend?” asks the Midwife. “No, no boyfriend either.” “Do you have a partner then?” “No, I’m unattached; I’ll be having my baby on my own.” After the birth, the midwife again speaks to the young woman. “You have…
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