Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Haven’t we met before? = Nice ass. I like moonlight walks on the beach. = I’m broke. I need you. = I’m getting too old to be chokin’ the chicken. It’s just orange juice…try it. = One of these, she’ll have her legs around my head. She’s a stuck-up bitch. = She won’t sleep with me. Sorry I don’t have time to make you breakfast? = Who the fuck are you? I have something to tell you. = Get tested.…
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A young lady went to the doctor for her annual physical. The doctor told her to undress and sit on the examining table. She did as she was told and when the doctor turned around from his desk to examine her he noticed two big scabs on her knees. He said, ” My god what happened to your knees?” She said that they were caused by doing it doggie style. The doctor gave her some ointment and said that until…
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The following are direct quotes taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.…
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Danny McGuire came home from work to find his lovely bride sitting in the living room still in her bathrobe. “Kate, my wife,” he says, “whatever is the matter? Yer still in yer robe.” “Ah Danny,” says she, “tis poorly I’m feeling. I didn’t know what to do so I called Doc McDonald. ‘I’ll need a specimen,’ he says and hung up. Danny, I don’t know what a specimen is.” “Ah lass, I don’t know either, but if you high…
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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…
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A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.” With that, the father went to the telephone an dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?” The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin.…
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A blonde’s husband comes home from a hard day at the office to see his blonde wife sobbing over the kitchen sink. “Why are you crying?” asked the blonde’s husband. “Well, I went to get some ice cubes and I dropped them on the floor. I rinsed them in hot water and now I can’t find them.
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Why did the blonde fish swim backwards? Because she didn’t want to get water in her eyes.
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The big-rig driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in very short shorts. “What’s your name, mister?” she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. “It’s Snow – Roy Snow,” he answered. “And yours?” “Me, I’m June Hansen,” she said. A few minutes down the road, she felt his gaze on her. “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?” she challenged the trucker. “Oh, I was just thinkin’ what it might be like,”…
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While a book reviewer for The New Yorker, Dorthy Parker went on her honeymoon. Her editor, Harold Ross, began pressuring her for her belated copy. She replied, “Too fucking busy and vice versa.”
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