Hy Jokes - page 129

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews. Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.” Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire.” Problem: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.” Solution: “Autoland not installed on this aircraft.” Problem #1: “#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.” Solution #1: “#2 Propeller seepage normal.” Problem #2: “#1, #3, and #4 propellers…

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It took the Division of Motor Vehicles 6 months to figure out and revoke this personalized license plate: 3M TA3 Can you tell why? See answer below. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It spells out EAT ME in someone’s rear view mirror.

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You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…

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Joe is at the Pearly Gates waiting to be admitted while St. Peter is leafing through his files to see if Joe is worthy of entry. “Joe,” says St. Pete, “I can’t see that you’ve done anything really bad in your life but I can’t see that you’ve done anything really good that would qualify you for Heaven. Can you tell me ANY good deed you’ve ever done?” Joe thinks for a moment and says “Sure. I was driving through…

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Man: “May I see you pretty soon?” Woman: “Why? Don’t you think I’m pretty now?” Man: “Your body is like a temple.” Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

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