Hy Jokes - page 111

20 MORE signs of a Cheap HMO

1. Pedal-powered dialysis machines. 2. Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental procedure,” 3. Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace,” 4. Exam room has a tip jar. 5. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in. 6. “Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?” 7. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers. 8. “Take two leeches and…

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Read Joke20 MORE signs of a Cheap HMO

Broom Factory

A young girl of thirteen went to work in a broom factory. After two months, she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go, since she was hardworking, knew her job and did it quite well. He called her into his office and said, “But why do you want to quit?” he asked. “Nothing, I just want to quit, that’s all,” she said sullenly. “Look, I’ll give you a raise,” he said. “No,”…

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Read JokeBroom Factory

New Balls

He’d been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. “Why don’t you use an old ball?” his friend asked. “I’ve never had an old…

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Read JokeNew Balls

Old Geezer

An old geezer and his wife are out driving, when a police officer pulls him over. “What seems to be the trouble, young man?” asks the geezer. “Excuse me, Sir,” says the officer, “but didn’t you notice that your wife fell out of the car back there?” “Why, naw, I didn’t, Son. Thanks for telling me. I just thought I suddenly went deaf!”

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Read JokeOld Geezer

Wait for them

A very elderly couple went to see a lawyer. They were ushered gently into the lawyer’s inner office, and sat across the desk from the attorney who was studying the couple’s papers. He looked up after a moment. “How can I help you today, Mr. and Mrs. Watson?” The woman piped up in a thin, reedy voice. “We’ve come to get your help in filing for a divorce.” “A divorce?” The lawyer was stunned. “If you don’t mind my asking,…

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Read JokeWait for them

Hard as Nails

Grandpa hears some banging noises on the side of the house. He looks out the window and sees his grandson with a hammer, driving some weird-colored nails into the side of the house. “Junior,what are you doing with those nails?” Junior looks up at Grandpa, and replies.”These aren’t nails, Granpa, they’re worms!” Sure enough, on closer look they are! “Where did you get those from, boy? Worms are supposed to be soft and squishy, NOT hard and firm like that!”…

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Read JokeHard as Nails

Not able to grasp…..

Jon’s working at the lumbermill, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, “Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.” Jon says, “I haven’t got the fingers.” The doctor says, “What do you mean, you haven’t got the fingers? It’s 1998. We’ve got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on…

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Read JokeNot able to grasp…..