Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
ONE- We want you to understand that we don’t give a shit about clothes, all right? Yours OR ours. All we need is one pair of tennies and one pair of church shoes. That’s it. TWO- Don’t talk to us while the television is on, all right? Very simple: Television is off, we talk. Television is on, we don’t talk. THREE- When you’re behind the wheel of a car, if you want to get aggressive, that’s fine, but don’t give…
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There was this blonde and she was going to New York. When she got on the plane she went up to first class and sat down. When the flight attendant asked to see her ticket she realized that she didn’t belong in first class, so she asked the blonde if she could move back to coach and the blond said …”I am blond, I am sexy, and I am going to New York so I am not moving.” The flight…
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Ron and Elaine had been married ten years, had no children, and were beginning to drift apart. Elaine told her mother one day that she thought her marriage was in trouble. “For God’s sake, Elaine”, said her mother, “you and Ron have to see a marriage counselor. Ron’s a wonderful guy, and you’ll never find anyone who’d be as good to you as he is.” So Elaine phoned her cousin Harriet, who’d been through marriage troubles herself, to get the…
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TOP TEN REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else…
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Some explorers are hiking through a jungle in Africa. They come upon a tribe which frowns on trespassers. “We have two forms of punishment for trespassers,” the tribe leader anounces, “Death… or Bunga.” The first explorer says, “Well I don’t want to die, I choose Bunga, whatever that is.” So then, every man in the tribe whips off their clothes, and has sex with him until he is dead. The next explorer, surprised, says, “Well if I’m going to die…
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Desperately seeking technical support: I’m currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some problems. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 for years as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if you minimize Girlfriend with the sound off, but since I can’t find the switch to turn it off, I just run them separately and it works OK. Girlfriend also seems to…
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~~~~ My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid…
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True Facts About Americans Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. 85% of men don’t use the slit in their underwear. 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs). The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago…
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Three housewives are having lunch together in a small diner. Over dessert and coffee, they are discussing their suspicions regarding their spouses’ infidelities. The first housewife says, “You know, I once found a pair of panty hose in the pocket of my husband’s coat and it’s not mine.” “Tell me about it,” says the second housewife. “Several weeks ago, I found a box of condoms in my husband’s drawer. And I know he never uses them whenever we have sex.”…
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A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, “You foreigners Come in. Come into my humbleshop.” So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, “I have some special sandals 1 think you’d be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.”…
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