Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were three students in a classroom. A white boy, a black boy, and a Mexican boy. The teacher said, “Now, everybody make a sentence using the words chees and liver.” The white boy went first and said, “Last night for dinner I ate some cheese and liver.” Then the black boy said, “My brother stole some cheese and got shot in the liver.” Last, the Mexican boy said, “Cheese me sister so liver alone.”
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A woman goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. “Well”, says the doctor, “I can do the facelift, and then you will have to come back in six months for a follow-up.” “Oh no!” the woman replies. “I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back.” The doctor thinks for a few seconds, then offers, “There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your…
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In 1928 Colonel John Rotherhampton arrives in Central Africa to take over command of the King’s African Rifles from retiring Lt. Colonel Peter Defries. The retiring CO is very pleased to meet his successor and over a cup of tea at the regimental mess is most enthusiastic about the regiment’s adjutant, Captain Harry S Smithers. The old CO so extols the virtues and soldierly prowess of Capt. Smithers that the new CO decides that he must simply meet this man.…
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Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they would play the ball where it lies…”No matter what!!” On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his drive, and it ended up on the concrete cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief, his friend said, “Wait a minute! We agreed that we would not improve our lies, remember? No matter what!” The first player tried to…
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“Haven’t I seen you before?” “Nice ass.” “I’m a Romantic.” “I’m poor.” “I need you” “My hand is tired.” “I am different from all the other guys” “I am not circumcised.” “I really want to get to know you better.” “So I can tell my friends about it.” “It’s just orange juice, try it.” “3 more shots, and she’ll have her legs around my head.” “She’s kinda cute.” “I want to have sex with her till I am blue.” “I…
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In the days of horses and carts a couple get hitched. On the ride home after the reception, the fellows horse keeps playing up, every 100 yards or so the horse would come to a dead stop for no apparent reason. The groom jumps from the cart, walks to the horses face, holding one finger up…”That’s ONE!” he yells, and quickly remounts up onto the buggy. The bride shrugs this off, but another hundred yards down the track the horse…
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A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lb. due to very serious health risk. As he wondered how the heck he was ever going to do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. “Guaranteed like hell,” he thought to himself, but desperate, he called them up and subscribed to the 3-day, 10-lb. weight loss program. The next day there was a knock at the door and when he answered,…
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The following are actual statements made during court cases: From a defendant representing himself… Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse? Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse. Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance. ***************************** Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer. Judge: And why is that? Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case. Judge…
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Q: What do you call 50 cows shot into orbit? A: The Heard Shot ‘Round The World!
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We all know what a Birdie (1 under) and a Bogey (one over) are. Now there’s a Lewinsky. It’s when the shot lands three feet from the hole.
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