Hot one Jokes - page 2

10 Shots

This guy sits down at a bar and says to the Bartender, “Give me 10 shots of Tequila. Just line ’em up right here!” The Bartender looks at him and says, “Man, that’s a lot of Tequila, can I ask why you want so many shots?” The guy replies, “I just had my first blow job!” The Bartender says, “ALRIGHT! Tell you what, The eleventh one’s on me!” The guy says, “Naw, if ten shots of Tequila doesn’t get the…

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Psychic Hotline for Frogs

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline, and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful, young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?” “No,” says his Advisor, “in her biology class.”

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Hot Scoop

A gorilla is walking through the jungle. He parts the bushes by the watering hole and sees a lion taking a drink of water with his butt sticking up in the air. The gorilla thinks to himself that it would be really funny if he snuck up behind this “King of the Jungle” and slipped him the old sausage. So the gorilla sneaks up on his tiptoes behind the lion, grabs him by the hips and starts pumping him in…

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Harold and Bonnie’s Honeymoon

A sailor and his bride arrived at the honeymoon suite of their hotel. The bride had not ‘gone all the way’ before and was very nervous. Her mother had told her it would be very painful, but that it was her wifely duty. “Just make the best of it, as I’ve always had to,” she said. The young sailor showed her things the bride had never been ‘warned about’ by her mother which the young wife bravely agreed to but…

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Two Missionaries In Hot Water

In the deepest jungles of Africa, two missionaries were seized by a tribe of hostile cannibals. The cannibals then stripped the missionaries of their clothing, hogtied them and threw them into a large vat of hot boiling water over an open fire with the intention of boiling them alive. As the missionaries kept praying for a miracle, one of them suddenly burst out laughing. This made the other missionary so confused by his companion’s sudden burst of laughter that he…

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Taking Photos from the Air

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His…

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Too Hot!

“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?” “Probably that I married you for your money!”

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Honeymoon Gambling

A very old couple book a honeymoon suite in a five-star hotel to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. The bell boy, while taking their luggage to the suite, thinks to himself, “At their ages, they are booking a suite. What a waste!” After leaving them in their room with a a very heavy tip, he decides to spy on them. That night he sits in the lobby opposite their room. All night long he hears laughing and clapping sounds from…

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Birds and Cones

Little Johnny was sitting in the class, Miss Jones asked him, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many are left?” “None”, Johnny replies. The teacher, astonished, asked Johnny to explain “Well,” Little Johnny replies, “The sound of the gunshot will scare the other birds and they will fly away.” The teacher responded, “The correct answer is 4, but I appreciate your way of matured thinking, maybe you are right”. Little Johnny then…

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