Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day as George is sitting in class the teacher is asking everybody questions about their parents and what they do for a living. Everybody replies with doctor, engineer, architect, etc. When it’s Geore’s turn, he tells the teacher that his mom works as a substitute. The teacher asks what kind of substitute and George says, “I don’t know… she just wears high heels and a very short, tight skirt and walks around the street at night.” The teacher giggles.…
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“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…
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Maybe you can assist me with a problem which I’m having with a friend. She owns a used furniture store, and a few weeks ago the store was burglarized. The only thing taken was a big, beautiful, high-back fabric sofa, valued at over $1,000. My friend was devastated, as it was the finest used item in the entire store. Police speculate that it was the only item stolen, simply because the thieves were not able to carry anything else out…
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I have a friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. So I suggested he see a doctor and have his legs checked out. For years, he refused…told me I was crazy! But last week, he finally went and, sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was a quarter of an inch shorter than his right. After a quick bit of orthopedic surgery, he was cured, and both legs are exactly the same length…
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A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. “Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. “His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?” “Oh yes, very much,” he said,” but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that…
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Q.What do you do if your wife is standing next to your couch? A.Take her back to the kitchen and shorten the chain.
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film. Corduroy pillows: They’re making “headlines”! Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. Who is “Gen. Failure,” and why is he reading my hard disk? I poured spot remover on my dog, now he’s gone. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Why do psychics have to ask for your name? Wear short…
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A short excerpt from the first solo Canadian space flight. The lone Canadian is guided by NASA and the ship contains himself and two pigs. Naturally the NASA ground technicians are upset over the lack of an American. During the flight the following conversation was recorded between ground control and the crew: NASA: Hello, this is Ground Control for Pig 1. Pig 1, are you reading me? CP1: This is pig 1 for Ground Control. Reading you loud and clear.…
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Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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Colorful descriptions for the intellectually challenged: A few fries short of a happy meal. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all of the branches on the way down. A few clowns short of a circus. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a pod. Doesn’t have all his corn flakes in…
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