Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Bill and Dale built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. One day a shepherd, leading his flock, decided to take a shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn’t cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side. “Look at that,” remarked Bill to Dale. “That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!”
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Malawi voters, it seems, have had enough of the economic rollercoaster! They’ve decided to tell their current woes, ‘You’re fired!’ and instead, bring back an 85-year-old political veteran for another go. ? Peter Mutharika, a former president and now an octogenarian comeback kid, successfully unseated Lazarus Chakwera. Chakwera’s tenure was, let’s just say, a bit of a mixed bag – if that bag contained a multi-year economic crisis, sky-high inflation, essential goods shortages, a sprinkle of climate disasters, and the…
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…
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Americans who feel bad about the state of the presidency do not fret. We have come full circle, back to the glory days of the great American Presidents. In just 35 short years we have gone from “Kennedy and Camelot to Clinton and Came-alot”
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A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside…
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A young woman was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later, she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful…
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EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE AUTOMATED IN THE FUTURE. Even Emergency 911: “Thank you for calling Emergency 911.If you’re being murdered, press 1. If you’re suffering from a split personality, press 2,3 and 4. If you’re battling Satan, press 666. If you are being assaulted,press pound,pound,pound. If you are already dead, stay on the line, and an operator will be with you shortly.”
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It’s a dog eat dog world out there. And they’re short on napkins. Never trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Married people don’t live longer than single people. It just seems longer. Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse. Common Sense Isn’t. Sooner or later, EVERYONE stops smoking. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. The best way…
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Six Jewish gentlemen were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerowitz lost $500 on a single hand, clutched his chest and dropped dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five completed their game standing up. Whereupon, Finkelstein looked around and asked, “Who is going to tell the wife?” They drew straws. Goldberg, who was always a loser, picked the short one. His fellow cardplayers told him to be discreet, be gentle, and don’t make…
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You measure distance in minutes. Weather is 80% of your conversation. “Down south” to you means Iowa. Snow tires came standard on your car. You have no concept of public transportation. 75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota. You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer. People from other states love to hear you say words with O’s in them. You know what and where Dinkytown is. You have no problem…
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