Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two racehorses, Tony and Leo, always ran against each other in races. The results were always the same with Tony coming in first and Leo second. One day after losing again Leo says: “Hey Tony! How about next time you let me win? I’m tired of always coming in second.” To which Tony replies: “Well, okay, just this once.” The next day they line up at the gate, the guns goes and they are off. Leo is pouring his whole…
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There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Everyday, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, “She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn’t she know there isn’t a God?” Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying “Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don’t you know there is no God?” But she kept on praying.…
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With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society….. DIRECTRA: a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. PROJECTRA: men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting…
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If Con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?…
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?Twas the Night Before Christmas 60’s style ?Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Things were real mellow Even Irving the mouse Our boots were hung up The incense was lit In the hopes that St. Nick Would soon do his bit The tree was decked out It was really a sight With love beads and flowers And a flashing strobe light Wearing my T-shirt From the Woodstock Nation I was getting into Some good meditation And…
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Olie died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to I.D. the body. So his 2 friends, Sven and Lars, went down to try and I.D. the body. Sven went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet and Sven said “Yaa, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.” So the mortician rolled him over and Sven looked at his ass and said, “No, dat ain’t Olie.” The mortician didn’t say anything but thought…
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01. You can name everyone with whom you graduated. 02. You know what 4-H is, and WHY. 03. You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road. 04. You used to drag “main.” 05. You said the “F” word and your parents knew, within the hour. 06. You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t — same goes…
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Ahmed was a high-ranking courtier in King Akbar’s court. However, he had one longstanding wish–to suck the queen’s voluptuous breasts to his mind’s desire. Every time he passed the queen, he would get frustrated. He would spend the entire day thinking of ways of achieving this, but knew King Akbar’s sword would meet his neck if he did so. One day he revealed his desire to Birbal, the King’s trusted advisor, and begged him to do something about it. Birbal,…
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A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer…
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A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice. “Yes, it is”, replied the vet, “Is this an emergency?” “Well, sort of”,…
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