Hit man Jokes - page 6

Rejected Childrens Titles

Titles of Children’s Books you probably WON’T see! 1.Some Kittens Can Fly 2.That’s it, I’m Putting You Up for Adoption 3.Grandpa Gets a Casket 4.The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator 5.Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia 6.The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking 7.Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her 8.Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence 9.All Cats Go to Hell 10.The Little Sissy Who Snitched 11.The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan 12.Your Nightmares Are Real 13.Where Would You…

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Read JokeRejected Childrens Titles

PORK

This man came home from work and asked his wife if they could have pork (other white meat) for dinner. The wife said that they are already having chicken and that chicken is better for them. He didn’t want to argue so instead of fighting he settled for chicken. He saw a commercial on t.v for a hypnosis that you can use in someone’s sleep. So every night for the next two weeks he stayed up for 2 hours and…

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Children’s books you’ll NEVER see…

“You Are Different and That’s Bad” “Dad’s New Wife Timothy” “Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games” “Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets” “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence” “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables” “Start a Real Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy” “Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will” “The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead” “How to Become The Dominant…

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Ten things only WOMEN Understand….

10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 8. Crying can be fun. 7. FAT CLOTHES. 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a “peak life experience”. 4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is…

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A Bad Golf Day

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.” “We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear…

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Murder by flour?

Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murder A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped…

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Three wishes

There was once three black men. Two of them wanted to be white but the third insisted that color is no diffirence. One day they were walking on a sandpath and found a lamp. They started rubbing it and a ginnie came out. The ginnie granted one wish for each one of them. The first, following his dream, wished to be white. With a snap of his finger, the ginnie turned him white. The seconed wished for the same and…

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Alligator in the bar

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the toothy reptile on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you all a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my dick, unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd…

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Fun with Anagrams

Take a look at the following words, after their letters have been rearranged: Dormitory = Dirty Room Evangelist = Evil’s Agent Desperation = A Rope Ends It The Morse Code = Here Come Dots Slot Machines = Cash Lost in ’em Animosity = Is No Amity Santa = Satan Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z’s! The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Decimal Point = I’m A Dot in Place The…

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12 Days of Christmas

December 14th Dearest John: I went to the door today and UPS was here with a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes December 15th Dearest John: Today, UPS brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves? I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16th Dear John: Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now…

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Read Joke12 Days of Christmas