Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1874 in small bills.…
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A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to…
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Reasons to Love Men 1. They’ve got that comfortable place on their shoulder that’s perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. 2. They’re at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. 3. They’re enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we’re not. 4. They’re beyond enthusiastic about sex. 5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. 6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.…
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An old man and a old woman get married. After the reception, they go to their hotel room. The old man is waiting in bed as his new wife removes her clothes. As soon as she is ready, she says, “Now, we have to be careful, I have acute angina.” The old man says, “You better, because you sure have some ugly tits!!”
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Hillary Rodham Clinton, role model for women who scare their husbands into cheating everywhere, has decided to have a trial separation from hubby Bill. She reportedly said that she has enough embarassment from living through a year long scandal, woman after woman, a rape charge, and having to watch Bill run to McDonalds in those really tight shorts. Hillary decided to separate herself from Bill, after trying for 17 years to separate him from evey other woman in Arkansas. She…
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Two hillbillies are having the lunch special at the local diner when they hear an awful choking sound. They turn around to see a woman turning blue from wolfing down a Possumburger too fast. Jethro says to Wilbur, “Think we oughta help?” “Yep” says Wilbur, who walks over to the lady and says, “Kin you breathe?” She shakes her head no. “Kin you talk?” he asks, and again she shakes her head. With that, he grabs her ankles and flips…
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Two Texans were having lunch at their favorite restaurant when they noticed a young woman at the next table having trouble breathing. One of the Texans got up, walked over to her table, took her face in his big Texan hands and said, “Kin ya swaller?” She shook her head ‘no.’ “Kin ya breath?” Again she shakes her head ‘no.’ The Texan grabs her around the waist with one of his big Texan hands, turns her over, pulls up her…
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Q.)What did Helen Keller’s parents do when she was bad? A.) They rearranged the furniture! Q.) What did Helen Keller’s parents do when she was really bad? A.) The stomped on her Braille books with golf shoes! Q.) What did Helen Keller’s parents do when she was really really bad? A.) They left the plunger in the toilet! Q.) Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive? A.) She was a woman!
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The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table, in front of her kids. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league,” bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You think “Genitalia” is an Italian airline. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.…
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Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murder A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped…
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