Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
**How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it! **Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you! **Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink! **How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?…
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Little Johnny was in church with his mom and dad. This Sunday they happened to be sitting behind a woman whose dress was full of static electricity. When she stood up to sing the next hymn, her dress got stuck in the crack of her butt. Little Johnny, being very naughty, reached out and grabbed her dress and pulled it out of her crack. “JOHNNY!” cried his mother, “Don’t ever do that again!” The woman in the dress was also…
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Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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A wealthy businessman, who was a notorious cheater when playing his beloved sport of golf, died and went straight to Hell. When he got to Hell, he was surprised to find himself on a golf course with well-manicured greens and the weather so perfectly cool and clear that it did not seem like Hell at all. At the first tee, he was greeted by Satan himself who gave him a complete set of golf clubs made of gold in a…
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Two privates stationed at Fort Ord were handed shovels and told to bury a large dead animal. While digging they got into an argument about what they were burying. “This here’s a big mule!” “This ain’t no mule, this here’s a donkey.” “Mule!” “Donkey!” Well, this went on for a while until the camp chaplain came by. “What are you boys doing?” “We’re diggin’ a grave for this mule.” “Donkey, dammit!” The chaplain cut in, “Boys, this isn’t either one,…
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A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. “This place” the guide told them, “is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years.” “Wow!” said one woman, dryly. “They must have the same landlord I have.”
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One thing that has always bugged me is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this: Me: Hello? AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T… Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T… Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes This is AT&T… Me:…
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There was once a great actor who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally, after many years, he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, “This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You must walk on the stage carrying a rose. Hold the rose with just one finger and your thumb to your nose. Sniff the rose deeply and then…
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Ole, Lena and Sven were lost in the woods of Northern Minnesota and were becoming desperate, having run out of food several days ago. It was winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole dug down into the snow to look for nuts, he found an oil lamp and upon rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out. The genie says, “I am da great genie of Nordern Minnesooota and I can…
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An African village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to Marriott-Smalley, the great white hunter, to come and kill the beast. For several nights Marriot-Smalley lay in wait for the lion, but it never showed up. Finally, he told the tribal chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, the hunter went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night,…
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