Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There are two guys playing golf, and they both hit their balls way into the rough. They agree to go find their balls and meet on the fairway later. The first guy is pretty sure he hit his into the big patch of buttercups, so he goes over and starts beating the hell out of the buttercups with his club looking for his ball. All of a sudden, an angel comes down from heaven and tells him that he can…
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A quiet little man was brought before a judge. The judge looked down at the man and then at the charges and then down at the little man in amazement. “Can you tell me in your own words what happened?” he asked the man. “I’m a mathematician dealing in the nature of proof.” said the little man. “Yes, go on,” said the astounded judge. “Well. I was at the library and I found the books I wanted and went to…
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A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the lower bunk, the man on the top. In the middle of the night the man leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you but I’m cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.” The woman leans out and says in a…
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Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman’s work! But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was…
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One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he noticed a little boy standing outside the White House gates. As curiosity got the best of him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing. As he approached the gates Bill was taken by surprise when he noticed a sign saying “Democratic Dogs For Sale”. Bill asked the boy about the dogs he was trying to sell. “What’s up son?” Bill asked. To…
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We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole…
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Midget walks into a bar, throws a five dollar bill on the table and says to the bartender, “Give me a five dollar shot of your best whiskey! And who’s the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight?” The bartender pours the midget a nice healthy shot of Crown Royal and says, “Well, I’d say the large fellow at the end of the bar is the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight.” Well the midget…
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An elderly parish priest became unhappy with the things he was hearing during Saturday confessions. After his sermon one Sunday morning, he said to his congregation, “I’m tired of hearing so many people tell me in confession that they have cheated. For thirty years, people have been saying to me ‘I have cheated with Anthony… I have cheated with Mary… I have cheated with Frankie.’ I am sick and tired of hearing this word. From now on, when you come…
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This guy and his dog went to a Lions game and the security guard told the man that he couldnt bring a dog into the stadium. The guy said, “Come on man he is a die hard Lions fan!” But, the security guard insisted, “No, its against rules but theres a bar across the street you can bring the dog to watch the game.” So they went to the bar across the street. They sat down and as they were…
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A few years ago a group of tree-huggers was presenting an alternative to the ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seemed that, after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a “more humane” solution. What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, then castrate the males, then let them loose again, and then the population would be controlled. I, kid you not, this was…
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