Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man arrives at the Pearly Gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter reviews the Big Book to see if the man?s name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, ?I?m sorry, I don?t see your name written in the Big Book.? ?How current is your copy?? asks the man. ?I get a download every ten minutes,? St. Peter replies, ?Why do you ask?? ?I?m embarrassed to admit it, but…
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Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…
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After having their 12th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger double-wide. The husband then went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children but they couldn’t afford a costly operation, either. The doctor told him that there was a home procedure called a redneck vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb,…
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A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. “Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop owner, “and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it.” “You can keep the story, old man,” he replies, “but I’ll take…
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Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy.” “Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.” Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. “I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn’t care!” “You just don’t know how to set him off,…
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Frank phones his wife Angie at ten to five and tells her he’s bringing his boss home for dinner. Angie is furious that she’s had no time to prepare but when Frank and his boss arrive, she has miraculously made a marvelous veal marsala, with pasta, chianti and a spinach salad. She’s even managed to shower, change into a dress, and get their little six-year-old daughter, Stephanie, looking clean and pretty. As they are seated at the dining room table,…
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In an attempt to flee the hard life in their homeland, a group of twenty Cubans secretly left Cuba on a small boat and set sail for Miami. Along the way, the oldest Cuban suffered a serious heart attack. As he lay gasping for breath, the old man made this request to his fellow Cubans, “Please, my friends, I wish to hold in my hands the flag of my beloved Cuba and kiss it before I breathe my last.” So…
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A man and his wife always loved to go on the helicopter rides at the carnival, but they didn’t like the $10.00 per ride. So the man started negotiating with the pilot. Finally, the pilot agreed to let them fly for free ONLY if they could last the entire flight without making a single sound. So the helicopter took off. The pilot tried swerving and sudden stops, even 360 spins, but the whole time, he didn’t hear a peep out…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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After tucking their three-year-old son, Sammy, into bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying, hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny, and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, an an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy’s ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash,…
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