Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murder A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped…
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There was once three black men. Two of them wanted to be white but the third insisted that color is no diffirence. One day they were walking on a sandpath and found a lamp. They started rubbing it and a ginnie came out. The ginnie granted one wish for each one of them. The first, following his dream, wished to be white. With a snap of his finger, the ginnie turned him white. The seconed wished for the same and…
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This man and his son where driving down the road the man pulls out a beer and begins taking a drink, his son asks, “dad, can i have a drink?” his dad replies, “son, can your dick touch your ass?” His son jumps in the back seat then comes back up front, “no, dad it can’t.” “sorry, son you can’t have any!” the boys father then pulls out a ciggarette, “Dad, can I have a drink?” the boy asks. “Can…
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The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty. 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high. 3) Overcharging fees to many clients. 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case. And the list goes on for quite awhile. The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He…
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Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am…
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1) How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. 2) Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut. 3) Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time. 4) Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Even at that stage they won’t stop to ask directions. 5) What do men and sperm have in common? They both have…
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A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. “How are you, Grandpa?” he asks. “Feeling fine,” says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus.” “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take good care of me.” “What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?” “No problem at all, nine hours solid every night. At 10 o’clock, they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet . . .…
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10.Do not say what you mean. Ever. 9. Stash feminine products in their backpacks and in their books as cute reminders that you were thinking of them. 8. Play Alanis Morissette’s “You Outta Know,” loud. Look at them. Smile. 7. Look them in the eye and start laughing. (During an intimate moment) 6. Cry. 5. Gather many female friends and dance to “I Will Survive” while they are present. Sing all the words. Sing to them. Sing loud. 4. Go…
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December 14th Dearest John: I went to the door today and UPS was here with a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes December 15th Dearest John: Today, UPS brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves? I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16th Dear John: Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now…
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1. Men are like department stores…. their clothes should always be half off. 2. Men are like vacations…. they never seem to be long enough. 3. Men are like computers… hard to figure out and never have enough memory. 4. Men are like coolers… load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. 5. Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like coffee…. the best ones are rich,…
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