Hey guys Jokes - page 6

Golden Ocean

Two guys were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface. After floating under a blazing heat for six days, they ran out of food and water. On the tenth day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near,…

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AMERICANS RULE!!

There is a Irish guy, a Chinese guy, a Russian guy, and a American guy. The guys were sitting around one day disscusing what they like about their country. The Irish guy says that he likes the green grass of Ireland. The Chinese guy says that he likes the Great Wall of China. The Russian guy says that he likes the Russian flag. The American guy says that he likes the Bald Eagle. All the other guys looked at the…

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my son

Four work buddies were out golfing at the 11th hole one of them says, “Play on … I have to go to the bathroom”, so they play on and get to talking about their sons. The first guy says, “I am really proud of my son. He is doing so well, he bought his friend a new car.” The second man boasts, “My son is doing so well that he just bought his friend a 24′ boat.” The third guy…

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Which Hole?

There were three guys who all died. When they got to heaven, God told them that in order to get into heaven, they had to ask him a question that he could not answer. If he could answer it, he would go to Hell. So the first guy, a doctor asked him what is the drug used to finish coronary bypass surgery? God gets the question right and the doctor goes to Hell. The next guy, a computer programmer, asks…

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PIG

A man is speeding his convertible up a steep, narrow, winding mountain road when a woman driving a sedan approaches him from the opposite direction. As they pass, she leans out her window and yells, “PIG!” The man immediately leans out and yells, “BITCH!” As he hurtles around the next corner, he swerves to avoid a large pig standing in the middle of the road, plows through the flimsy fence and crashes to a fiery death. Gee, if only you…

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Anything for Golf

Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole, the following conversation takes place. First Guy: “You guys have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing today. I had to promise my wife that I’d build her a new deck for the pool.” Second Guy: “You’re lucky. I had to promise my wife that I’d paint every room in the house next weekend.” Third Guy: “You guys have it easy. I had to…

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A New Kind of Car

Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. “Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?” one asked. “He got this hare brained notion he was going to build a new kind of car,” his coworker replied. “How was he going to do it?” “He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from a Caddy and well, you get the idea.” “So what did he end up with?” “Ten years to…

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How to read a film

Here are some film phrases to help you in your film viewing. Classic- A really boring movie that no-one likes. Ten Best- The 10 worst movies. (Usually Classics) Landmark- A really, REALLY boring movie. (Like 2001) New-Wave- The directors a lunatic, and no-one can make head or tail of the movie. Review- A biased analysis of a movie made by people who care about things like plot, theme and acting; things that have nothing to do with the enjoyment of…

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Budweiser Method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating, “which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really quite pretty.” Another agrees, and so does the third, but the bartender, bringing a new round of drinks to their table, overhears their rating of the young lass, checks her…

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Mexican Bungee

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.” The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble.…

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