Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
your mom is so fat…she went to Sizzler’s and got a group discount. your mom is so fat…her belt size is equator. your mom is so fat…she was baptised in the pacific ocean. your mom is so stupid, she told me she tripped over a cordless phone. your mom is so old, she walked by an antiqe shop and they put a price tag on her. your mom is so old…she knew god. your mom is so fat, she sat…
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Q.)What did Helen Keller’s parents do when she was bad? A.) They rearranged the furniture! Q.) What did Helen Keller’s parents do when she was really bad? A.) The stomped on her Braille books with golf shoes! Q.) What did Helen Keller’s parents do when she was really really bad? A.) They left the plunger in the toilet! Q.) Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive? A.) She was a woman!
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The Pope and President Clinton just happened to die on the same day. Now obviously the Pope was to go to heaven and Clinton was supposed to go to hell. Somehow this gets crossed up. God and Satan realized their error and Satan sent the Pope up and God sent Clinton down. They just happened to meet in the middle, so they stopped to chit-chat for a minute. Clinton asked the pope,”What had you hoped to do when you got…
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This man came home from work and asked his wife if they could have pork (other white meat) for dinner. The wife said that they are already having chicken and that chicken is better for them. He didn’t want to argue so instead of fighting he settled for chicken. He saw a commercial on t.v for a hypnosis that you can use in someone’s sleep. So every night for the next two weeks he stayed up for 2 hours and…
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A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it’s raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that! She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid. Out of despair, she asks, “Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?” The kid says, “How should I know? I’m only 6.”
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“You Are Different and That’s Bad” “Dad’s New Wife Timothy” “Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games” “Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets” “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence” “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables” “Start a Real Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy” “Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will” “The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead” “How to Become The Dominant…
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There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said, “Sure.” So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the man did for a living, so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They…
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Things Dogs Must Try To Remember…. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it. I will…
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There were these two old people on a farm in some rocking chairs. They’re just rocking and all of a sudden the old guy grabbed his wife’s tit and said, “If this squirted milk we wouldn’t have to buy cows.” She ignored him and they kept rocking and all of a sudden he grabbed her cunt and said, “If this could lay eggs we wouldn’t have buy chickens.” And then she grabbed his dick and said, “If this got hard…
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The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table, in front of her kids. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league,” bowls on a different night. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You think “Genitalia” is an Italian airline. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.…
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