Hey al Jokes - page 15

Two Football Jocks Taking an Exam

Two college football players named Bubba and Jed were taking an exam in English Literature. They must pass this exam in order to fulfill the academic requirement. If they fail, they would be dropped from the college varsity team for the whole season. The exam was relatively easy as it consisted mainly of fill-in-the-blank type of answers. However, Bubba was stumped by one particular item. The statement read “Complete the nursery phrase … Ol’ MacDonald had a ______.” Trying as…

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Read JokeTwo Football Jocks Taking an Exam

Going to Dallas

There was this man and this woman on a plane and the woman turned to the man and said, “I’m really horny and I want it now.” The man said, “Not now and especially not on this plane.” So the woman makes a suggestion, “You un-zip your pants and I’ll do the rest.” So the man finally agrees and she sits on his lap. The woman decides to ask the people in front of her, “Where are you guys going?”…

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Read JokeGoing to Dallas

Quality time with the family

There was this family of 3 brothers named Somebody, Nobody, Everybody, and their cousin Crazy. One night the four boys wanted to go out drinking at a bar. They all drank beer and were having fun. Everybody and Crazy had decided that they had all they wanted to drink. On the other hand, Somebody and Nobody still wanted to drink even though they were already drunk. As they continued to drink they started to say bad things to one another…

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Ain’t So Boring After All

There were two men who had gone to the same college and had become great friends. During college, they had a great time together. They were always right in the middle of anything happening. When they graduated, however, they each went their own separate ways. Two or three years later, they ran into one another on the street. They were very happy to see each other. During the conversation, one of them asked the other what he was doing for…

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Pledge of Allegiance

The teacher advised the class that they start each day with the pledge of allegiance and instructed them to put their right hand over their hearts and repeat after her. As she starts the recitation, she looks around the room, “I pledge allegiance to the flag . . .” When her eyes fell on Johnny, she found he had his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. “Johnny, I will not continue until you put your hand over your…

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Soundproof Confessional

At one local church, Joe was in charge of taking up the offerings. One Sunday after the services, the priest counted the cash and found it was smaller than anticipated. So he questioned Joe. He told him that it did not seem enough for the size of the congregation. Joe said that he did not take any of the offering. The priest again questioned him, and again he denied taking any of the offering. So the priest said, “Get into…

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Football Players Ain’t So Dumb!

Tired of hearing about how dumb football players were, college coach Grabowski remembered a recent press release that crossed his desk and told the interviewer, “It so happens that according to a recent Harrison Poll, over fifty percent of the young men who play college football are making straight A’s.” “I read that report, too,” the interviewer replied, “and my question is this: When will they learn to write the rest of the alphabet?” (You know what football is: a…

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Read JokeFootball Players Ain’t So Dumb!

It All Depends

Teacher to a third grade student: “Billy, if both your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?” Billy: “It depends.” Teacher: “It depends on what?” Billy: “It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother.”

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Wal-mart Dianogstic Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say’s to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money.” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Joe…

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Read JokeWal-mart Dianogstic Computer