Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Hearts and roses and kisses galore, What the hell is all that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer, It is definitely the most annoying day of the year, This day needs to get the hell over with and pass, Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid’s ass, I’ll spend the day so drunk I can’t speak, And wear all black for the rest of the week, Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade, For…
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God…. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.” Bill replied,…
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A politician awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation, and found that the curtains were drawn around him. “Why are the curtains closed?” he asked. “Am I going to be ok?” A nurse replied, “Yes, you’re going to be fine. It is just that there is a fire across the street, and we didn’t want you waking up and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful.”
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One day, Monica Lewinsky died and went to Hell. Later that day, Clinton died and went to Hell also. He met Satan and Satan said to him, “You have three choices of eternal punishment.” He opened up the first door and there were people walking around in the flames, screaming in pain. Bill said, “I really don’t like that one much.” Satan showed him what was behind another door and there were people whose heads were chopped off and put…
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(This joke is very visual) One day a young boy was walking to school. He cut through an alley where he met a hooker. “Hello little boy.” said the hooker as she waved her pinky finger at him. ‘What’s up with the pinky?’ thought the boy. After school the boy went back through the alley and the hooker was back again. “Hello little boy,” she said and waved at him with her pinky finger. ‘Again with the pinky, what’s up…
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A man dies and finds himself in a small room that has a couch and TV set in it. There’s another fellow sitting on the couch watching TV. The new arrival asks the man on the couch, “So, is this heaven or hell?” The man looks up and says, “Well, there’s no windows or doors, and no apparent way out.” “Oh,” says the first guy. “So it’s hell?” “Well,” says the other guy, without looking up from the screen, “but…
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A man goes to hell and shows up in front of three doors. The devil pops up and says, “You have a choice here behind these doors for what you want to do for eternity.” The man thinks this is fair and looks behind the first door and sees many people on a hot metal floor, standing on their heads and screaming. He quickly slams the door saying,”NOT THAT!” The man looks behind the second and sees many people standing…
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An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and says, “You’re an engineer, you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the Gates of Hell and is welcomed. Soon, the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell; he begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls…
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A wealthy businessman, who was a notorious cheater when playing his beloved sport of golf, died and went straight to Hell. When he got to Hell, he was surprised to find himself on a golf course with well-manicured greens and the weather so perfectly cool and clear that it did not seem like Hell at all. At the first tee, he was greeted by Satan himself who gave him a complete set of golf clubs made of gold in a…
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Why the hell do they have a handicapped spot in front of a skating rink? Why the hell do news reporters have wise ass comments after a funny news story? Why the hell do they show the daytime Emmys at night?
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