Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming…
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A father was concerned about how his 7 year old son was becoming an habitual liar. He went to see a child psychiatrist and told him about the problem. After hearing all the father had to say, the doctor said,”Go home and tell your son the biggest lie that you can come up with. When he realizes how much of a lie you have just told him, it will break him of the habit.” So the man went home and…
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An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve some bad new for you … you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room. There he saw his…
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yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it. yo mama so fat she fell into the sea and the whales sang, “We are family…” yo mama so stupid she spent 20 min. staring at an orange juice carton cause it said, “Concentrate.” yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor looked at her head and butt and said, “Twins!”
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Doctor Goldstein and his wife are having dinner at an upscale restaurant when an attractive young blonde walks by, smiles at the doctor, and says “Hi, Sammy.” “Who the hell is THAT?” asks Sammy’s wife. “That’s my mistress,” Dr. Goldstein replies. “You have a MISTRESS? How long has this been going on?” asks his wife. “About five years,” says the doctor. “Five years? I’ll see a lawyer tomorrow and start a divorce. I’ll ruin you.” “Wait just a minute, honey.…
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The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a “Lord Nelson.” The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similariy of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated risk, of course, for the two men…
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A guy goes to see a psychiatrist. He says, “Doc, I think I’m hung up on women’s breasts.” The psychiatrist says, “We’ll see. I’ll give you a quick word association test. I’ll say something, and then you say the first thing that comes into your mind. Shall we begin?” The guy nods his head. The doctor says, “Eggs.” The guy says, “Boobs.” The doctor says, “Orange.” The guy says, “Hooters.” The doctor says, “Grapefruit.” The guy says, “Jugs.” The doctor…
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An elderly couple were having trouble remembering things. The man advised the woman that he thought they should see a doctor. Both agreed and went to the doctor. The doctor stated that was no big problem and that it is easily cured. “Get yourself a tablet and when you think of something write it on the tablet.” The couple returned home. Later that evening the man asked the woman if she would kindly get him a glass of ice water.…
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A young couple were making passionate love in the guy’s van (you know, shag carpets, big double mattress in the back…all that) when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out “Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!” The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off and proceeds to whip the girl…
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Four doctors who hadn?t seen each other since their surgical residencies met at a medical seminar. Adjourning for dinner and drinks, they turned their conversation to who makes the best surgical patients: The first said, for sure, electrical engineers. ?You open ?em up,? he contended, ?and everything is color-coded.? ?Nah,? said the second. ?It?s librarians. You open ?em up and everything is alphabetized.? The third scoffed. ?Of course not,? he said. ?It?s accountants. You open ?em up and everything is…
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