Har Jokes - page 11

Ten things only WOMEN Understand….

10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 8. Crying can be fun. 7. FAT CLOTHES. 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a “peak life experience”. 4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is…

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Read JokeTen things only WOMEN Understand….

Old People

There were these two old people on a farm in some rocking chairs. They’re just rocking and all of a sudden the old guy grabbed his wife’s tit and said, “If this squirted milk we wouldn’t have to buy cows.” She ignored him and they kept rocking and all of a sudden he grabbed her cunt and said, “If this could lay eggs we wouldn’t have buy chickens.” And then she grabbed his dick and said, “If this got hard…

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Stupid People Should Advertise

Stupid people should have to wear signs that say, “I’M STUPID!” That would save the rest of us “normal” folks a lot of headaches. We wouldn’t rely on them or expect much from them. It would be like, “Oh, excuse me. Never mind. I just noticed your sign.” It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes, and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, “Hey, you moving?”…

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Farts Classified

Types of Farting People The Vain Person One who loves the smell of his own farts. The Amiable Person One who loves the smell of other people’s farts. The Proud Person One who thinks his farts are exceptionable fine. The Shy Person One who releases silent farts then blushes. The Imprudent Person One who boldly farts out loud, and then laughs. The Unfortunate Person One who tries hard to fart, but shits instead. The Scientific Person One who farts frequently,…

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Boys will be boys…

Three boys went fishing by a stream. One of the boys left and was peeking through some nearby bushes. When the other two boys went to see what he was looking at, the little boy ran. So the two boys looked through the bushes and saw a naked woman swimming. When the two boys caught up to the first and asked why he ran away, he replied, “My mom told me that if I ever saw a naked woman I…

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Read JokeBoys will be boys…

Alligator in the bar

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the toothy reptile on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you all a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my dick, unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd…

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Church Talk

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first woman tells her friends. “My son is a Priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father.” The second woman chirps, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room people call him your Grace.” The third crone says, “My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say your Eminence.” The fourth woman continued sipping her coffee in silence, so the first three women…

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Change and Directions

The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty. 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high. 3) Overcharging fees to many clients. 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case. And the list goes on for quite awhile. The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He…

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Special Courses for Women

Continuing Education Courses For Women 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.. 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.. 3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday.. 4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.. 5. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game.. ] 6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.. 7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.. 8. Valuation:…

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Cardinal vs Rabbi

The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. “Your Holiness”, said one of his Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths.” The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. “Don’t we have a Cardinal to represent me?” he asked. “None that…

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