Hair color Jokes - page 3

Thoughts on Being Bald

If a man is bald in front, he’s a thinker. If he’s bald in back, he’s a lover. If he’s bald in front and back, he THINKS he’s a lover. “Papa, are you growing taller all the time?” “No, my child. Why do you ask?” “‘Cause the top of your head is poking up through your hair.” He’s not baldheaded…he just has flesh-colored hair. It’s not that he’s baldheaded…he just has a tall face. He has wavy hair…it’s waving goodbye.

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Quick Comeback

Karen and Ken, a couple in their mid-fifties, had finally decided to tie the knot. Karen and her girlfriend, Sarah, were discussing the upcoming wedding plans. After describing her beautiful wedding dress, Sarah asked Karen what color her shoes would be. Karen replied, “I thought Silver would be nice.” Ken, the eavesdropping fiancee, had to get his two cents in by retorting, “Yes. Silver will be very nice…it will match your hair!” Sarah, not missing a beat, shot a look…

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Analogies

~The following are actual winning analogies in the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest~ They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers…

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Blonde & Sheep

A blonde dyed her hair jet black so that people would think she was smarter. It seemed to work. People treated her with more respect, and she even felt smarter. To celebrate, she took a drive in the country. She spotted a field full of sheep, and got out to take a look. She found the farmer and said, ” These things are so cute, and soft. What are they?” “Uh, they’re sheep, miss,” he replied. “If I can tell…

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The Bill of No Rights

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County GA: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal,…

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Is your dog being stalked by Martha Stewart?

The Top Ten Ways to Tell if Martha Stewart is Stalking Your Dog: 10. There’s potpourri hanging from his/her collar. 9. The dog’s nails have been cut with pinking shears. 8. The dog’s toys are all stored in McCoy crocks. 7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia bows. 6. The telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl. 5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal…

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Read JokeIs your dog being stalked by Martha Stewart?