Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say’s to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money.” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Joe…
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After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to get it up anymore. He goes to his doctor, his doctor tries a few things out, but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him, “This is all in your mind,” and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, “I am at a loss as to how you could possibly cured.” Finally the psychiatrist refers him to…
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Farmer Dan buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for bacon, ham, etc… After a few weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and he calls the vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn’t have the slightest clue as to what this means, but not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs became pregnant. The vet…
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SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered. CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report! NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music. CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep! NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.” CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured? NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction. CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on. NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness… darkness… Wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.…
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ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…
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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say’s to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money.” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Joe…
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An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?” Bessie looks him over, “Nope.” Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?” Bessie looks again, “Nope.” Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back…
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There was this guy walking down the street, when right in front of him, and coming his way, was his ex-wife. He could not walk across the street; there was just no way to avoid bumping into her and the younger man on her arm. Being startled at the chance meeting, she stammered, “W- well, hello Fred!” He tried a courteous, “Hi Martha! and how have you been sinc–” Bolstering up somewhat, and with pride of her young, blonde, good…
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A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic; but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt. “Darling wife,” the husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if–” The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that…
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An 85-year-old couple, after being happily married for almost 60 years, died together in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and proper diet. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their luxury mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bedroom suite and a fancy in-house jacuzzi. The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was…
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