Good question Jokes - page 4

10 things that piss me off

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy…Where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? 2.The Pillsbury Dough Boy is way too happy…considering that he doesn’t have a dick!! 3.People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the damn tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change it…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke10 things that piss me off

Pearls of Wisdom

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Stupidity got us into this mess — why can’t it get us out? Even if you are on the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePearls of Wisdom

lab rats

AP–The federal government today released the findings of a four year study that linked living in cages to increased potential of developing cancer in laboratory rats. The study, which cost an estimated $17 million, was started in 1983 when all the rats in a laboratory test control group contracted cancer. Spokesperson John Smith explained: “We were running a test on the possible link between excess popcorn intake and increased incidence of colon cancer. The test group consisted of twenty rats…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokelab rats

Why did the chicken…(political version 2000)

Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhy did the chicken…(political version 2000)

Instructions for Life

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeInstructions for Life

Sex on a Sunday

A Preacher was concluding his Sunday sermon at the Church of the Ozarks when he said “Before we adjourn to Miss Ida’s fried chicken lunch, I’d like you to feel free to ask me any questions you have.” Miss Daisy, the most beautiful young lady in the congregation raised her hand. “Preacher,” she said, “Is sexual intercourse permitted on Sunday?” “Well I don’t know right off,” replied the Preacher, “but I’ll find the answer right here in the Good Book.”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSex on a Sunday

Not-So-Happy Solution

Bubba Wilkes goes in to see Dr. Smith. “Dr. Smith…I’ve got a problem!” exclaimed Bubba. “Just what seems to be the matter, Bubba?” remarked Dr. Smith. “Well, I’ve been having hot flashes on and off for the last 3 weeks and it’s really getting to bother me. Can you check me out to find out what’s wrong?” “No problem, Bubba,” said Dr. Smith. “You know we have one of the best labs in the country next door. We’ll do the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNot-So-Happy Solution

In hiding

It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a Jew in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.” “But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed.” “I admit that wasn’t good, but you did it for a good cause.” “Oh thank you Father; that eases…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIn hiding