Good man Jokes - page 42

Why did the chicken do it? Finally, some ANSWERS!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes…

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Read JokeWhy did the chicken do it? Finally, some ANSWERS!

Seeing Eye Dogs

There’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.” The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “Just follow my lead.” They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair…

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Read JokeSeeing Eye Dogs

Vomit on the Shirt

A gentleman spent several hours after work one evening drinking excessively. After gulping down a triple shot of bourbon, he began to feel extremely nauseous. He made a run to the men’s room, but he vomited all over his shirt before he could reach the toilet. “Oh, for the Love of God! My wife is gonna kill me!! I’m not supposed to be out drinking at all and here I am, with alcohol stinking vomit all over my shirt!!” “Not…

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Read JokeVomit on the Shirt

Ten or Twelve Times a Day

One day a man put his father in a rest home. His father didn’t want to be there but just to please his son he would stay there for a while. The first morning the old man woke up with a boner and immediately after he woke up a beautiful nurse pulled down his pants and started to give him the best blow job he’d ever had. As soon as she was done she cleaned up and left without saying…

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Read JokeTen or Twelve Times a Day

Yours for Life

Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, “Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life.” From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, “Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.”

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Read JokeYours for Life

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to inclement weather she decided to top at a nice hotel for the night. She approached the front desk and requested a room. “Certainly, Madam”, the clerk replied. “Is the coffee shop still open?” she asked. “No, Madam, I’m sorry,” he replied, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select dinner from this menu?” Mary graciously scanned the menu. “Yes, I think the cauliflower with cheese would be fine,…

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Read JokeMary Poppins

a new job……

Sam got a new job in an all-night, all-purpose superstore. He was there about an hour when a man walked in. “Hello,” said the man. “Hello, what can I get you?” said Sam. “I’d like a packet of nails please.” Sam got the nails, gave them to the man and said, “That’ll be one ninety-nine please”. The man paid the money and left. The Store Manager came quickly over, and hissed at sam. “What were you doing?” “What?” said our…

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Read Jokea new job……

It’s A Bad Day When…

You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…

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Read JokeIt’s A Bad Day When…

Always Look @ the Bright Side!

A man wakes up in the hospital to find his doctor looking down on him and soon the doctor says, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we were forced to amputate both your legs.” The man, after regaining his composure, then asks, “What on earth is the good news?” With a slight smile, the doctor replies, “The man in the next bed wants to buy your slippers!”

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Read JokeAlways Look @ the Bright Side!

Guys and Gals difference in Vocabulary

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. BUTT (but) n. female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look…

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Read JokeGuys and Gals difference in Vocabulary