Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract. Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They’re hard to…
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The Perfect Man —————- The perfect man is gentle Never cruel and never mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean. The perfect man loves children And will raise them by your side He will be a good father And a good husband to his bride. The perfect man loves cooking Cleaning and vacuuming too He’ll do anything in his power To convey his love to you. The perfect man is sweet Writing poetry from your…
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“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…
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Once there was a rich man that had a wife that hated to cook. She ask her old man if she could have a chef. He told wife ok and hired a french chef. Everything he cooked was awful. The man complained to his wife but she said to give him a little more time. Mad about everything being bad, he went home to fire the chef. When he got home he found the chef giving his wife oral sex.…
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An architect, a painter and a lawyer were all sitting in a bar arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The architect says, “My dog has to be the smartest. Watch… go to it Spot.” The dog then proceeds to design and build a perfect replica of the Eiffel Tower. “Good Boy, Spot!” the architect tells his dog, and hands him a cookie. “That’s nothing,” scoffs the painter. “Watch this… Hit it Rover.” Rover then makes and exact replica of…
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X-FILE CASE #1224 ================ 57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH Mulder: Scully! We’re too late! It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been here? Mulder: Someone … or something. Scully: Mulder, over here — it’s a fruitcake.…
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A blind man was standing on a corner waiting for the traffic signal to change so he could cross the street. A stray dog comes walking up to him, hoisted his leg and urinates on the blind man’s pant leg. The blind man then reaches into a paper sack and brings out a cookie and holds it down to the dog. Another pedestrian who was watching this says to the blind man, “Good lord, you’re not going to reward that…
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SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled “Don’t Wash my Silks”) 8. Parenting: No, It Doesn’t End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn…
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I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in…
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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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