Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennia Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…
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Some cute insults are : 1. I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be! 2. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent! 3. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? 4. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 5. At least there is one thing good about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face! 6. Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!
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“Ok, now who can recite the alphabet for the class?” asked Johnny’s teacher. “Raise your hand if you would like to try”. Johnny raised his hand, yelling, “Teacher, teacher! I have to pee!” “Ok Johnny, recite your alphabet, then you can go. Well, not wanting to be rude to the teacher, Johnny started slowly. “Stand up when you speak,” said the teacher. He stood up, crossing his legs. “ABCDEFG… um.. HIJK… hmmm… LMNO…. ummm..QRSTUVWXYZ” “Very good,” said the teacher, “but…
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A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop, “I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off…
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One day at Sunday school, the teacher was asking the children where Jesus lives. The teacher called on one of the kids who replied, “Jesus lives in my heart.” “Very good.” said the teacher. She calls on another kid. “Jesus lives in Heaven.” “Very good,” said the teacher. Little Johnny is in the back of the room waving his hand to be called on. The teacher didn’t want to call on Johnny, but does anyway. “Jesus lives in the bathroom,”…
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A bartender is closing for the night when there’s a knock at the back door. When he answers, a dirty-looking homeless guy asks him for a toothpick. The bartender is a little surprised, but he gives him a toothpick and the guy walks away. A few minutes later, there’a a second knock at the door. When he answers, there’s another homeless guy outside who asks for a toothpick. The second man gets his toothpick, and off he goes. A few…
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Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would enjoy galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn. Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith Masters planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of…
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Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one student starts drawing on the board, then one by one others add to it. She decides not to start with Johnny, because he is so naughty and always has some “unusual” picture in mind. So she starts with Jane. Jane: “This is our House” /\ / \ / \ / \ | | | | | | | | The teacher: “Good, Jane!” and asks…
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Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack’s station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night. “I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.” “Not to worry,” Jack said, “we’ll be happy…
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It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a Jew in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.” “But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed.” “I admit that wasn’t good, but you did it for a good cause.” “Oh thank you Father; that eases…
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