Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn’t really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.” The doctor says, “I see. Here’s a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven…
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Matt’s dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.” “That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”
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A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. “What’s this?” he asks. “Cojones, se?or,” the waiter replies. “What are cojones?” the man asks. “Cojones,” the waiter explains, “are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon.” At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to…
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A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you ALWAYS have to give me bad news? he complained. “Tell me some GOOD news for a change.” “All right. Here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re NOT sterile!”
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One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he noticed a little boy standing outside the White House gates. As curiosity got the best of him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing. As he approached the gates Bill was taken by surprise when he noticed a sign saying “Democratic Dogs For Sale”. Bill asked the boy about the dogs he was trying to sell. “What’s up son?” Bill asked. To…
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One fine spring day, the Pope’s aide rushes into His office – “Your Holiness!! Your Holiness!! There’s big news! But it’s good and bad.” The Pope replies, “Well, give me the good news first.” His aide, beaming a smile says, “Jesus Christ has returned! He’s on the phone right now asking for you!” The Pope exclaims “What can possibly be bad about that?!” The aide replies, “He’s calling from Salt Lake City!”
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Every “Hormone Hostage” knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. Here are helpful hints: DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: Wow! Look at you! DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER:…
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Driving on the highway, I watched a passing Chevy Suburban towing a boat with an outboard motor. The motor was obviously in neutral because the propeller was spinning like crazy from the slip-stream under the car. I turned to my wife, pointed to the boat, and said, tongue in cheek, “Look, that’s a great idea! Those Suburbans are heavy and burn a lot of gas, so this guy started his boat motor so the propeller will help PUSH him!” My…
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We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole…
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Q What do men and beer bottles have in common? A They’re both empty from the neck up. Q How many guys does it take to put the toilet seat down? A Don’t know. It’s never happened. Q How are men like parking spaces? A The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
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