Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
In an attempt to flee the hard life in their homeland, a group of twenty Cubans secretly left Cuba on a small boat and set sail for Miami. Along the way, the oldest Cuban suffered a serious heart attack. As he lay gasping for breath, the old man made this request to his fellow Cubans, “Please, my friends, I wish to hold in my hands the flag of my beloved Cuba and kiss it before I breathe my last.” So…
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You know you’re in trouble when your standing behind Mother Teresa at the pearly gates and God is sending good people to heaven and bad people to hell. And God says to her, “You know, you should have done more.”
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The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?” “Heaven!” they all piped up. “And what do you have to do to get there?” They said, “Be dead!”
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10. Musical Recliners 9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta 8. Hide and Go Pee 7. Simon Says Something Incoherent 6. Doc, Doc Goose 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over 4. Kick the Bucket 3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear 2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy 1. Sag, You’re It!
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Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises you will be totally prepared for the test. And, best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your own home. EXERCISE #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of…
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A man walks in the bar and has had way too much to drink. He decides to go to the bathroom and when he walks in there is another man and there are three holes in the wall. Above the three holes there are three buttons. The other man in the bathroom says don’t ever stick your dick in any of the holes. The man thinks he is lyng so he does it anyway. He sticks his dick in the…
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A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart “associate” standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me, sir…can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from…
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A teacher is giving a spelling bee. She asks little John to spell the word, “Before.” “Um…Before: b-e-e-f-o-r,” he replies, erroneously. The teacher then calls on Suzy. “Before: b-e-p-h-o-r.” Again, she too is wrong, and the teacher calls on little Leroy. “Before: b-e-f-o-r-e,” gloats the little boy. Very good, Leroy! Now can you use the word in a sentence?” “Yeah. Before: Two and two be fore.”
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An institution for the mentally ill arranged for its inmates to attend a baseball game. The director spent days training the patients to obey his commands, so there wouldn’t be any trouble. The day of the game was bright and sunny and the group arrived just before the first pitch. When it was time for the National Anthem, the director yelled, “Up, nuts!” and the inmates immediately rose. When the National Anthem was over, the director yelled, “Down, nuts!” and…
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A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter): “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the…
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